One for the DJs... most annoying requests/biggest twats

[gez]

When I started of djing in clubs back a few years ago there was a regular club i would play funky house in. room 2 where i was djing had the decks installed at the end of the bar, was bad in the fact that you would get drunken punters whilst waiting to get drinks requesting crap like erm will you play track three cd 2 on clubland 4 (they dont even have a fooking clue of the name of the track themselves) so what I would do is pretend i couldn hear them so when they would go to lean over I would max the monitors to deafen the cunts, never had so much fun pissing off punters conpared to that

[Andy Payback HiFi]

Or as i'm playing Rod Taylor - HIM ( )

Nice, although I'd be pestering you to play the Version (Dread All The Way) if you have that recent DATC repress

Indeed I do!

Could have asked them if they'd wanted something a bit more dubby, which they would've probably jumped at, then played the version. Will have to remember that one for next time...

edit: That pressing I've got is on 7", it's HIM, then Dread all the way on the b side.

I've got a different pressing on order on 10" which has the above both on a side, then Sun, Moon & Stars and Galactic Dub on the flip.

Was the 10" repressed at the same time?

Yeah. They did a few of them at the same time.Some more here:

http://www.honestjons.com/shop.php?pid=32157&CatID=124&LabelID=15619

http://www.honestjons.com/shop.php?pid=28878&CatID=124&LabelID=15619

I think there was about 4 7"s as well. I found the pressing on the 10"s a bit quiet tbh.

[Dave Badger]

I had my best one ever the other day, whilst I was playing ‘last train to trancentral’ by the KLF I had a woman come up and ask me if I could “play some 90’s dance”  

[Andy Payback HiFi]

I had my best one ever the other day, whilst I was playing ‘last train to trancentral’ by the KLF I had a woman come up and ask me if I could “play some 90’s dance”  

Haha.

[Block Party]

I had my best one ever the other day, whilst I was playing ‘last train to trancentral’ by the KLF I had a woman come up and ask me if I could “play some 90’s dance”  

 

[De-Fi]

Or as i'm playing Rod Taylor - HIM ( )

Nice, although I'd be pestering you to play the Version (Dread All The Way) if you have that recent DATC repress

Indeed I do!

Could have asked them if they'd wanted something a bit more dubby, which they would've probably jumped at, then played the version. Will have to remember that one for next time...

edit: That pressing I've got is on 7", it's HIM, then Dread all the way on the b side.

I've got a different pressing on order on 10" which has the above both on a side, then Sun, Moon & Stars and Galactic Dub on the flip.

Was the 10" repressed at the same time?

Yeah. They did a few of them at the same time.Some more here:

http://www.honestjons.com/shop.php?pid=32157&CatID=124&LabelID=15619

http://www.honestjons.com/shop.php?pid=28878&CatID=124&LabelID=15619

I think there was about 4 7"s as well. I found the pressing on the 10"s a bit quiet tbh.

 

[Andy Payback HiFi]

Or as i'm playing Rod Taylor - HIM ( )

Nice, although I'd be pestering you to play the Version (Dread All The Way) if you have that recent DATC repress

Indeed I do!

Could have asked them if they'd wanted something a bit more dubby, which they would've probably jumped at, then played the version. Will have to remember that one for next time...

edit: That pressing I've got is on 7", it's HIM, then Dread all the way on the b side.

I've got a different pressing on order on 10" which has the above both on a side, then Sun, Moon & Stars and Galactic Dub on the flip.

Was the 10" repressed at the same time?

Yeah. They did a few of them at the same time.Some more here:

http://www.honestjons.com/shop.php?pid=32157&CatID=124&LabelID=15619

http://www.honestjons.com/shop.php?pid=28878&CatID=124&LabelID=15619

I think there was about 4 7"s as well. I found the pressing on the 10"s a bit quiet tbh.

 

Tip: New Maffi 7" just been put up on Honest Jons btw 

[Ricorb]

"Play something we can jump around too"

Squire of gothos is a bit bland innit.

[Tekton]

"Play something we can jump around too"

Squire of gothos is a bit bland innit.

 

[Sell_By_Dave]

I had my best one ever the other day, whilst I was playing ‘last train to trancentral’ by the KLF I had a woman come up and ask me if I could “play some 90’s dance” 

 

Sounds like something I had at Dojos a few weeks back. Some slightly worse for wear rave mum stumbles over the decks and asks if I can play "some dance music". At the time I was playing 'LFO' by LFO. I pointed out that this was, by general consent, a "dance record". She said "no, I meant like hardcore"   

Last weekend at Mackies was similarly priceless. Some drunk bint and her mates kept coming up to the decks every two seconds asking for "more mainsteam music" or "more classics". They then started asking for Tanya Stevens records (cos, erm that really goes with early 80s boogie) then suggested I name a genre and they'd pick a record at random to see if I had it. Er, no thanks.

[Andy Payback HiFi]

Last weekend at Mackies was similarly priceless. Some drunk bint and her mates kept coming up to the decks every two seconds asking for "more mainsteam music" or "more classics". They then started asking for Tanya Stevens records (cos, erm that really goes with early 80s boogie) then suggested I name a genre and they'd pick a record at random to see if I had it. Er, no thanks.

   Sounds like I had a lucky escape there

[gez]

I think there should be a rule that if someone really wants you to play something you dont really want to they should buy you a drink

[Andy Payback HiFi]

I think there should be a rule that if someone really wants you to play something you dont really want to they should buy you a drink

There's quite a culture of tipping the DJ when asking for a request in the US. I don't mind requests at all, as long as they fit in with the general tone of the rest of the music and the requestor has some idea of what they want. Manners and politeness also go along way. I hate all that "Mate, mate, mate..." stuff

[mr ben parker]

I think there should be a rule that if someone really wants you to play something you dont really want to they should buy you a drink

There's quite a culture of tipping the DJ when asking for a request in the US. I don't mind requests at all, as long as they fit in with the general tone of the rest of the music and the requestor has some idea of what they want. Manners and politeness also go along way. I hate all that "Mate, mate, mate..." stuff

take the $10 tip,play what you want,tell them its the remix
job done

[Andy Payback HiFi]

I think there should be a rule that if someone really wants you to play something you dont really want to they should buy you a drink

There's quite a culture of tipping the DJ when asking for a request in the US. I don't mind requests at all, as long as they fit in with the general tone of the rest of the music and the requestor has some idea of what they want. Manners and politeness also go along way. I hate all that "Mate, mate, mate..." stuff

take the $10 tip,play what you want,tell them its the remix
job done

Word! (although I don't think tipping the DJ would ever happen in this country)

[Ewan Hoozami]

I think there should be a rule that if someone really wants you to play something you dont really want to they should buy you a drink

There's quite a culture of tipping the DJ when asking for a request in the US. I don't mind requests at all, as long as they fit in with the general tone of the rest of the music and the requestor has some idea of what they want. Manners and politeness also go along way. I hate all that "Mate, mate, mate..." stuff

take the $10 tip,play what you want,tell them its the remix
job done

Word! (although I don't think tipping the DJ would ever happen in this country)

No, people assume that the DJ is getting paid several hundred pounds as it is 

[Andy Payback HiFi]

I think there should be a rule that if someone really wants you to play something you dont really want to they should buy you a drink

There's quite a culture of tipping the DJ when asking for a request in the US. I don't mind requests at all, as long as they fit in with the general tone of the rest of the music and the requestor has some idea of what they want. Manners and politeness also go along way. I hate all that "Mate, mate, mate..." stuff

take the $10 tip,play what you want,tell them its the remix
job done

Word! (although I don't think tipping the DJ would ever happen in this country)

No, people assume that the DJ is getting paid several hundred pounds as it is 

Aren't you? You can't be doing it right, then 

[Ewan Hoozami]

I think there should be a rule that if someone really wants you to play something you dont really want to they should buy you a drink

There's quite a culture of tipping the DJ when asking for a request in the US. I don't mind requests at all, as long as they fit in with the general tone of the rest of the music and the requestor has some idea of what they want. Manners and politeness also go along way. I hate all that "Mate, mate, mate..." stuff

take the $10 tip,play what you want,tell them its the remix
job done

Word! (although I don't think tipping the DJ would ever happen in this country)

No, people assume that the DJ is getting paid several hundred pounds as it is 

Aren't you? You can't be doing it right, then 

Evidently 

Average person: "Wow, so you DJ and have a full-time job? You must be loaded!"
Me: "Er, not really" 

[teh noodlé]

One time a guy gave me a tenner to play In The Air Tonight.... In Vodka Rev on a student night pre-monkey advert. I took his middle-aged fancy-pants bribe, and hence was never asked to return to the venue for further work.

Totally worth it.

[Andy Payback HiFi]

Average person: "Wow, so you DJ and have a full-time job? You must be loaded!"
Me: "Er, not really" 

The average person just looks at what I'm wearing and works it out for themselves 

[Andy Payback HiFi]

One time a guy gave me a tenner to play In The Air Tonight.... In Vodka Rev on a student night pre-monkey advert. I took his middle-aged fancy-pants bribe, and hence was never asked to return to the venue for further work.

Totally worth it.

They fired you over one song    I thought that track would have been a Student Night staple at that sort of place.

[Ewan Hoozami]

Average person: "Wow, so you DJ and have a full-time job? You must be loaded!"
Me: "Er, not really" 

The average person just looks at what I'm wearing and works it out for themselves 

 

[james_l]

I was on DJ duty for Thekla top deck a few months ago;

Punter: Have you got something a bit more upbeat, y'know - 'dancey'.
Me: You might want to try downstairs.
Punter: There's a downstairs?!!

He would've happily paid £15 to sit in the top-deck bar all night!

[Ewan Hoozami]

I was on DJ duty for Thekla top deck a few months ago;

Punter: Have you got something a bit more upbeat, y'know - 'dancey'.
Me: You might want to try downstairs.
Punter: There's a downstairs?!!

He would've happily paid £15 to sit in the top-deck bar all night!

 

[teh noodlé]

One time a guy gave me a tenner to play In The Air Tonight.... In Vodka Rev on a student night pre-monkey advert. I took his middle-aged fancy-pants bribe, and hence was never asked to return to the venue for further work.

Totally worth it.

They fired you over one song    I thought that track would have been a Student Night staple at that sort of place.

man was a fucking wanker. He'd sacked off the previous guy that my agent sent because when asked for indie the guy had been playing all new undergroundy shit like New Young Pony Club and scaring off the townie punters. So I goes in and I get in MAJOR bar manager hovering on my shoulder nasty trouble for playing Ready To Go by Republica. Now I'm sorry but that shit is a staple indie classic and this manager had no fucking idea of his arse from his elbow. One of those proper "I could do a better job" wankers. Wondering why his bar had cleared out by 12:30am.... Erm, something to do with you being a fucking pre-club bar methinks, don't fucking lay that one on my doorstep. Cock-end.

[Andy Payback HiFi]

One time a guy gave me a tenner to play In The Air Tonight.... In Vodka Rev on a student night pre-monkey advert. I took his middle-aged fancy-pants bribe, and hence was never asked to return to the venue for further work.

Totally worth it.

They fired you over one song    I thought that track would have been a Student Night staple at that sort of place.

man was a fucking wanker. He'd sacked off the previous guy that my agent sent because when asked for indie the guy had been playing all new undergroundy shit like New Young Pony Club and scaring off the townie punters. So I goes in and I get in MAJOR bar manager hovering on my shoulder nasty trouble for playing Ready To Go by Republica. Now I'm sorry but that shit is a staple indie classic and this manager had no fucking idea of his arse from his elbow. One of those proper "I could do a better job" wankers. Wondering why his bar had cleared out by 12:30am.... Erm, something to do with you being a fucking pre-club bar methinks, don't fucking lay that one on my doorstep. Cock-end.

Better off out of there.

One thing though; you had an agent? 

[DJ Ted Crilly]

I had a young lady ask me if I'd play 'Last Night A DJ Saved My Life', as it was her birthday and her boyfriend would only dance with her if I played that, I'd already played it about 5 mins previous, but it's good, so I played it again.  

[djshandy]

LOL, this thread is amazing. i could rant for hours on this topic, but most of it seems to have been covered.

tbh if you wanna choose the music you hear in the club, you should take your fucking ipod. 

[Tekton]

I had a young lady ask me if I'd play 'Last Night A DJ Saved My Life', as it was her birthday and her boyfriend would only dance with her if I played that, I'd already played it about 5 mins previous, but it's good, so I played it again. 

her boyfriend sounds a bit of an odd one.

[Ewan Hoozami]

I had a young lady ask me if I'd play 'Last Night A DJ Saved My Life', as it was her birthday and her boyfriend would only dance with her if I played that, I'd already played it about 5 mins previous, but it's good, so I played it again. 

her boyfriend sounds a bit of an odd one.

TBH no-one in this story comes off particularly well

[Breakwhore]

I had a young lady ask me if I'd play 'Last Night A DJ Saved My Life', as it was her birthday and her boyfriend would only dance with her if I played that, I'd already played it about 5 mins previous, but it's good, so I played it again. 

her boyfriend sounds a bit of an odd one.

TBH no-one in this story comes off particularly well

I was playing a breakcore set at a party and someone asked "do you have any Beatles?"

[PIN MONEY]

I had a young lady ask me if I'd play 'Last Night A DJ Saved My Life', as it was her birthday and her boyfriend would only dance with her if I played that, I'd already played it about 5 mins previous, but it's good, so I played it again. 

her boyfriend sounds a bit of an odd one.

TBH no-one in this story comes off particularly well

I liked the story, it was heartwarming, unlike all the other unkind tales of DJ seriousness.

These people are all drunk ffs, it's hardly their fault

[Ewan Hoozami]

I had a young lady ask me if I'd play 'Last Night A DJ Saved My Life', as it was her birthday and her boyfriend would only dance with her if I played that, I'd already played it about 5 mins previous, but it's good, so I played it again. 

her boyfriend sounds a bit of an odd one.

TBH no-one in this story comes off particularly well

I liked the story, it was heartwarming, unlike all the other unkind tales of DJ seriousness.

These people are all drunk ffs, it's hardly their fault

  you feeling alright?

[Tekton]

I had a young lady ask me if I'd play 'Last Night A DJ Saved My Life', as it was her birthday and her boyfriend would only dance with her if I played that, I'd already played it about 5 mins previous, but it's good, so I played it again. 

her boyfriend sounds a bit of an odd one.

TBH no-one in this story comes off particularly well

I liked the story, it was heartwarming, unlike all the other unkind tales of DJ seriousness.

These people are all drunk ffs, it's hardly their fault

 

wy don't you put a dress on and show it to everyone adam... oh wait... 

[PIN MONEY]

you feeling alright?

OK, they are all cunts, but I still liked the story. It was a welcome break from the myriad sullen accounts of acerbic DJ vitriol tbh.

You wear dresses.

[teh noodlé]

One time a guy gave me a tenner to play In The Air Tonight.... In Vodka Rev on a student night pre-monkey advert. I took his middle-aged fancy-pants bribe, and hence was never asked to return to the venue for further work.

Totally worth it.

They fired you over one song    I thought that track would have been a Student Night staple at that sort of place.

man was a fucking wanker. He'd sacked off the previous guy that my agent sent because when asked for indie the guy had been playing all new undergroundy shit like New Young Pony Club and scaring off the townie punters. So I goes in and I get in MAJOR bar manager hovering on my shoulder nasty trouble for playing Ready To Go by Republica. Now I'm sorry but that shit is a staple indie classic and this manager had no fucking idea of his arse from his elbow. One of those proper "I could do a better job" wankers. Wondering why his bar had cleared out by 12:30am.... Erm, something to do with you being a fucking pre-club bar methinks, don't fucking lay that one on my doorstep. Cock-end.

Better off out of there.

One thing though; you had an agent? 

Not the "I'm so in demand I need someone to look after my affairs" sort. More like a bleedin temping agency, where lazy commercial bar managers would ring him and say "we need cheesy dance music!" and he'd send someone. Tell you what though it made me some tidy cash without me having to do owt except show up and play.

Edit: I mean "play" in the most soul-destroying sense of the word. I actually flipped the usual dream on its head, and dreamt of a day job to save me from DJing.

[Ewan Hoozami]

You wear dresses.

I do not.

[trewhella]

You wear dresses.

I do not.

dont go stamping your high heels now..   

[Tekton]

You wear dresses.

I do not.

not in public maybe. but at home roz told us otherwise 

[noisy boy]

me and steve Mako were playing at a girls bday party at Luna in Clifton. she'd asked for our set to be Bukem style dnb, so we kept it pretty chilled. the party was dead so the owner opened the doors to the usual punters, middle aged clifton lot.

within 2 minutes this women came over saying that she was from London and asked if we had anything else. i explained the situation with the party and said we hadn't really brought anything else so it was just dnb.

she said.....

''oh this is Bristol isn't it.....you guys ARE about 10 years behind the rest the country when it comes to music.''

i nearly spat my drink out in shock!!   

[teh noodlé]

''oh this is Bristol isn't it.....you guys ARE about 10 years behind the rest the country when it comes to music.''

lol

People who think fashion = taste are wankers anyway, I'm glad they all live in shitty shit-cunting London for cunts (and Clifton).

[Ewan Hoozami]

''oh this is Bristol isn't it.....you guys ARE about 10 years behind the rest the country when it comes to music.''

lol

People who think fashion = taste are wankers anyway, I'm glad they all live in shitty shit-cunting London for cunts (and Clifton).

  so true

[robbadobdob]

"Play wheres my money"
 

[*Weasel*]

seeing as it says 'biggest twats' in the title then i think that the thread can include some DJs aswell as punters
for instance, on sunday night Drama was taking over from fracture clinic and me and frilla were starting off the front room at 3.30am.
there were 3 DnB DJs playing before me
at swap over time one asked if it was okay for the guy on the decks to do 2 quick mixes and i said it was fine.
he did his two mixes....and then he did another 2 mixes....and the another mix.....and clearly had no intention of stopping
i got a record out and put it on the deck before he had a chance to and he said 'NO! NO! one more! one more' with a big frown on his face
in response to that i unplugged his headphone jack and gave it to him.....he turned round and said 'are you playing DnB?' to which i replied 'no'
he turned round and said: 'good fucking luck to you then'
fucking cheek of it!
typical 'DnB is the only great music/you're a shitty girl DJ/breaks and house can't smash it' attitude

[Andy Payback HiFi]

It was a welcome break from the myriad sullen accounts of acerbic DJ vitriol tbh.

I like that sentence 

[Ricorb]

'are you playing DnB?

Yes, but it's slower and better.

[gez]

at swap over time one asked if it was okay for the guy on the decks to do 2 quick mixes and i said it was fine.
he did his two mixes....and then he did another 2 mixes....and the another mix.....and clearly had no intention of stopping

talk about being greedy hey. I'd be well pissed off if someone robbed me of 6 mixes, if that was house music that would easily be half an hour in itself! good job the guy played dnb haha did you know who it was?

[pete sclist]

'are you playing DnB?

Yes, but it's slower and better.

 

 sigged ..

[fudgeone]

at a generator, or another night at the blue mountain, a guy gurning to the point of trying to eat his own top lip comes upto the decks and stands there staring at them for about 15 minutes, he then shouts in my ear untill i finshed my set but couldnt hear him at all. after i finished he comes up to me and explains his 'masterplan'...in his own words "im starting my own clothing label, with all the clothes to be made of nettles, ive been doing it for 5 years but havent made anything yet. i want to get all the musics involved, drum and bass, and funky house  do you want to get involved....its all about nettles and funky house"

At this point i made my excuses and walked away. as i left the club, he was standing behind the decks, shouting at the dj, presumably about funky house and nettles

[Breakwhore]

at a generator, or another night at the blue mountain, a guy gurning to the point of trying to eat his own top lip comes upto the decks and stands there staring at them for about 15 minutes, he then shouts in my ear untill i finshed my set but couldnt hear him at all. after i finished he comes up to me and explains his 'masterplan'...in his own words "im starting my own clothing label, with all the clothes to be made of nettles, ive been doing it for 5 years but havent made anything yet. i want to get all the musics involved, drum and bass, and funky house  do you want to get involved....its all about nettles and funky house"

At this point i made my excuses and walked away. as i left the club, he was standing behind the decks, shouting at the dj, presumably about funky house and nettles