HIJACK
October 20, 2019, 22:35:17 *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
Main Forum.Faces Gallery.Tunes and Mixes.The Desk
 
   Home   Help Login Register  
Share this page
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5  All |   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic:

letter of complaint

 (Read 38914 times)
Stanza
Veteran
****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 772


Ambush


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #50 on: January 24, 2006, 12:36:15 »

Brilliant, I smell a business idea, you should write letters of complaint on behalf of the less educated. £5 a pop,  www.complaintmaster.com Wink
Logged

Wovs
Hijack Admin
Knife of the Realm
*****
Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8,082


grrrrrrrrr...


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #51 on: January 24, 2006, 12:38:37 »

Brilliant, I smell a business idea, you should write letters of complaint on behalf of the less educated. £5 a pop,  www.complaintmaster.com Wink

 Laughing
Do it Benj, DO IT!
Logged

Spit
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 10,466


Chevron Action Flash


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #52 on: January 24, 2006, 12:39:45 »

He can publish a collection years down the line, like 'Letters from a Nut'- he can call it 'Letters from a C**t' instead.  Grin
Logged

639
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Posts: 9,197



View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #53 on: January 24, 2006, 12:42:22 »

kinda been done already
TIME WASTERS LETTERS
Logged

Wovs
Hijack Admin
Knife of the Realm
*****
Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8,082


grrrrrrrrr...


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #54 on: January 24, 2006, 12:45:53 »

kinda been done already
TIME WASTERS LETTERS

Or, indeed, the aforementioned 'Letters From a Nut'  Wink
Logged

Stanza
Veteran
****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 772


Ambush


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #55 on: January 24, 2006, 12:46:20 »

Dear all at first buses,

Hi you racists,

Yet again I have taken it upon myself to waste some more of my valuable time writing to complain to you about the shambolic toffee shop you run that masquerades as a bus service. You people are scum.
This morning I left my home in Bristol's fair centre and made my way to the hippodrome to catch a 43/44/45 to st george where I work on mondays shaping the minds of future generations. Having waited in arctic temperatures for a dull twenty minutes, lo! a bus finally appeared; I lifted my heavy work bags and staggered towards the doors. Imagine my surprise when as soon as your diesel spewing death trap rust bucket had vomited its passengers onto the street, the driver closed the doors and proceeded to drive off. This myopic ignoramus had not even looked at the pavement, where, believe it or not, it is tradition for passengers to stand, usually for a protracted period while we wait for some indolent cretin to finish reading his newspaper - or perhaps it was the beano - and have a cigarette. Said driver was deaf to my admittedly unusual entreaties that he stop the bus and let me alight. Even frantic shouting and waving would not dissuade him from his quest to lurch towards a red traffic light twenty yards down the road, tipping coffee onto a fat lady's lap on the top deck in the process, to everybody's private gratification. A well aimed kick at the side of the vehicle, which to my satisfaction left a healthy dent, also proved unsuccessful in stopping this man, hell bent on his own and everyone else's destruction. This was clearly a man with the intellect of a grape. I arrived late for work, impairing the education of 30 children, many of whom will probably end up working as first bus drivers; I'm not naive: I know a conspiracy when I see one. You had best be aware that I am watching your activities very closely.

Yours in Combat

Benjamin Isiah Van Damme

Possibly the best post i've ever read
Logged

Louis
Veteran
****
Offline

Posts: 2,712



View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #56 on: January 24, 2006, 12:46:49 »

Said driver was deaf to my admittedly unusual entreaties that he stop the bus and let me alight.

How could you 'alight' if you weren't on the bus?!

 NERD ALERT!
Logged

moochach
Guest

« Reply #57 on: January 24, 2006, 12:47:34 »

Verbose in the extreme, but a hilarious read. Id love (momentarily) to be the Customer Services worker that has to read this. Let us know if you get a reply.

Quote
This was clearly a man with the intellect of a grape.

 Laugh

Logged
Little Kezz
Veteran
****
Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1,078


Dance your ass off like nobody is watching


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #58 on: January 24, 2006, 12:57:21 »

I wrote a letter of complaint before and it landed me £300  Two Thumbs

not that I make a habit of it but also had a few other bits and bobs like vouchers for cash off food and that - sad I know - but cool to get freebies just for saying you dont or do like something.
Logged

faster little horse thing, faster.
Spit
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 10,466


Chevron Action Flash


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #59 on: January 24, 2006, 13:02:13 »

My sister once wrote a letter of praise to Cabury's saying how much she liked their chocolate, and in return they sent her a box set of Roald Dahl's entire biography!  Slayer
Logged

Wovs
Hijack Admin
Knife of the Realm
*****
Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8,082


grrrrrrrrr...


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #60 on: January 24, 2006, 13:04:06 »

My sister once wrote a letter of praise to Cabury's saying how much she liked their chocolate, and in return they sent her a box set of Roald Dahl's entire biography!  Slayer

WHAT?! And no Chocolate?! Cheapskates! What kid wants books?! PAH!  Wink

(Although I do reckon she was probably after a bit of chocolate too... was she dissappointed not to receive any?)
Logged

Spit
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 10,466


Chevron Action Flash


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #61 on: January 24, 2006, 13:05:27 »

My sister once wrote a letter of praise to Cabury's saying how much she liked their chocolate, and in return they sent her a box set of Roald Dahl's entire biography!  Slayer

WHAT?! And no Chocolate?! Cheapskates! What kid wants books?! PAH!  Wink

(Although I do reckon she was probably after a bit of chocolate too... was she dissappointed not to receive any?)

No, I think £40's worth of books seemed like a fair settlement. After that she tried writing to Nike and telling them how much she liked their shoes, but they were having none of it  Laughing
Logged

Little Kezz
Veteran
****
Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1,078


Dance your ass off like nobody is watching


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #62 on: January 24, 2006, 13:07:45 »

My sister once wrote a letter of praise to Cabury's saying how much she liked their chocolate, and in return they sent her a box set of Roald Dahl's entire biography!  Slayer

WHAT?! And no Chocolate?! Cheapskates! What kid wants books?! PAH!  Wink

(Although I do reckon she was probably after a bit of chocolate too... was she dissappointed not to receive any?)

No, I think £40's worth of books seemed like a fair settlement. After that she tried writing to Nike and telling them how much she liked their shoes, but they were having none of it  Laughing

 Laugh Laugh
Logged

faster little horse thing, faster.
jimma
Dub Specialist
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3,429


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #63 on: January 24, 2006, 13:22:30 »

Said driver was deaf to my admittedly unusual entreaties that he stop the bus and let me alight.

How could you 'alight' if you weren't on the bus?!

 NERD ALERT!


Yes, i also wondred this - otherwise a letter that Kingsley would have been proud to write.
Logged
Roadkill the VIII
Dub Specialist
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 4,255


The Tudor


View Profile View Faces Gallery WWW

Ignore
« Reply #64 on: January 24, 2006, 13:31:06 »

 Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
Good work Benj
Logged

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."  - A. Whitney Brown
Vegetarianism - a small price to pay for eternal youth

My nice new website (that might get updated more...)
Stanza
Veteran
****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 772


Ambush


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #65 on: January 24, 2006, 13:38:58 »

My sister once wrote a letter of praise to Cabury's saying how much she liked their chocolate, and in return they sent her a box set of Roald Dahl's entire biography!  Slayer

I love cadbury's, don't actually like chocolate that much, but i went to school in bournville by the factory and the air smells of chocolate  Two Thumbs
Logged

Wovs
Hijack Admin
Knife of the Realm
*****
Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8,082


grrrrrrrrr...


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #66 on: January 24, 2006, 13:54:34 »

My sister once wrote a letter of praise to Cabury's saying how much she liked their chocolate, and in return they sent her a box set of Roald Dahl's entire biography!  Slayer

WHAT?! And no Chocolate?! Cheapskates! What kid wants books?! PAH!  Wink

(Although I do reckon she was probably after a bit of chocolate too... was she dissappointed not to receive any?)

No, I think £40's worth of books seemed like a fair settlement.

Yeah... I s'pose she could always sell them on e-bay and buy chocolate with the money.
Logged

top cat
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Posts: 11,288

raar


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #67 on: January 24, 2006, 17:12:56 »

Said driver was deaf to my admittedly unusual entreaties that he stop the bus and let me alight.

How could you 'alight' if you weren't on the bus?!

 NERD ALERT!


Yes, i also wondred this - otherwise a letter that Kingsley would have been proud to write.


I thought to alight meant get on or off?

anyway, it still makes sense b/c I would need to get on the bus before I got off it.  Two Thumbs
Logged



MAKE IT SO

Code:
[flash=800,80]   forward for this by benjblackmore [/flash]
whalemonste®
Hijack Admin
Knife of the Realm
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 10,271



View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #68 on: January 24, 2006, 17:23:21 »

I thought to alight meant get on or off?

It doesn't.

anyway, it still makes sense b/c I would need to get on the bus before I got off it.  Two Thumbs

It doesn't.








Bad Teeth
Logged
top cat
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Posts: 11,288

raar


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #69 on: January 24, 2006, 18:19:23 »


It doesn't.


Logged



MAKE IT SO

Code:
[flash=800,80]   forward for this by benjblackmore [/flash]
whalemonste®
Hijack Admin
Knife of the Realm
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 10,271



View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #70 on: January 24, 2006, 18:33:41 »

te;db
Logged
Evs
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 28,911



View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #71 on: January 24, 2006, 18:53:22 »

Logged
Cabalist
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 9,337



View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #72 on: January 24, 2006, 19:26:21 »

Logged

My digit is firmly ensconced in my anus
Evs
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 28,911



View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #73 on: January 24, 2006, 19:55:05 »

Logged
Cabalist
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 9,337



View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #74 on: January 24, 2006, 20:14:44 »

Ha ha ha! I forgot about good ol' Daffyd.
Logged

My digit is firmly ensconced in my anus
jimma
Dub Specialist
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3,429


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #75 on: September 27, 2006, 17:47:45 »

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to express my great dismay at the service I receive on FGW services between London and Bristol, in the hope that you will take on board my comments and make changes to your services accordingly.

I live in Bristol and work as a freelancer with clients all over the country, but find that most of my work comes out of London. As a result I frequently make trips between Bristol and London and am faced with ever-present bore of deciding how to make the journey; car, coach, and train being the most viable means. The factors in deciding which way to make the trip are: expense, speed, and ease of use. Usually National Express coaches win my custom as the Bristol Bus Station is a ten minute walk from my house and their reliability (in terms of meeting or beating scheduled arrival times) is high. Furthermore, there prices are acceptable to my budget. I am often faced with having to attend work in London that is scheduled at extremely short notice; were I to travel by train I would be faced with fares that, in my opinion, teeter on the brink of extortion. National Express, on the other hand offers me the opportunity to simply buy a ticket on the day, at their kiosk, and travel for around a fifth of the price of FGW equivalent service; a journey that allows me to disembark at Earl’s Court tube station, which (door to door) takes no more time than the same journey by train.

I was recently faced with circumstances that meant I had no other choice than to use your service between London and Bristol. A client asked me (at around 1700Hrs) that I be in London the next morning to work on their project. The couldn’t tell me whether it would be one or two days work. I checked with National Express and found that no morning services would get me in early enough, so I was faced with having to buy an open return from First Great Western. To my horror, this cost me £116. A fare equivalent to air-travel within Europe. I was prepared to pay this amount given that the work I was doing was for a new client, who would hopefully be providing work in the future. I was required to be with my client at 0900 – this should have been possible given that the 0700 service I caught was due to get in quarter of an hour before this. In the event the train (0700, 7th Sept) was subject to delays and I arrived over half an hour late, causing serious problems to our extremely tight schedule and great discontent with my client – one whom I had hoped to please. Furthermore, the train’s narrow aisles were packed with people standing making it  almost impossible to get to the buffet or even the toilets. When I did manage to force my way through the throng I returned to my seat to discover it had been taken…. The 
seat reservation I had asked to be made when I booked by phone, had not been made (or printed out) meaning I was seat-less for the last three-quarters of an hour. I completely fail to see how such service is worth the money I paid. On my return journey, it is worth noting that the buffet car had been cancelled – normally I wouldn’t use this customer-punishing, price-inflated, service but on this occasion I hadn’t had time to stop in the railway station so was forced to endure the journey without food or drink.

As a young persons railcard holder I was always glad to use trains as they were somewhat more affordable even when travelling last minute. I’ve enquired what might be available to me now (and I’m willing to pay) by way of discount card, and was informed by FGW employees that there is nothing. Other networks provide something for those of us who don’t fall into “OAP,” “family,” or “young persons” yet FGW clearly cares little about blanket-bombing its customers with high fare-prices. Your advanced booking discounts are woefully thin on the ground and seem to be of little use except for special trips planned way in advance; God forbid anyone should need flexibility in there life!

In short, FGW has great improvements to make before they win back my custom. I shall not make the mistake of relying on your service again to get me somewhere punctually (or affordably) – in future, when the coach fails to meet my needs, I’ll drive.

I would be grateful for your response as to how the service I experienced (above) justifies the price of £116. Any comment on what changes FGW might be making to improve service would also be welcomed.

Yours faithfully,




James Martin
Logged
Android Lloyd Webber
Ultimate Warrior
******
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 6,867


Hiding in a cupboard with a potato.


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #76 on: September 27, 2006, 18:12:58 »


God forbid anyone should need flexibility inthere life!


 Tut Tut   Grin


letters of complaint are best though! think i may have to get on the case... now.. what do i hate?
Logged

Oh you must have missed it when I proved to the internet that I am God.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Roadkill the VIII
Dub Specialist
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 4,255


The Tudor


View Profile View Faces Gallery WWW

Ignore
« Reply #77 on: September 27, 2006, 18:17:08 »

FGW are rubbish for anything with a deadline.
Logged

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."  - A. Whitney Brown
Vegetarianism - a small price to pay for eternal youth

My nice new website (that might get updated more...)
ŠKelm
Veteran
****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 2,926


Bristol crew!


View Profile View Faces Gallery WWW

Ignore
« Reply #78 on: September 27, 2006, 18:18:58 »

Dear all at customer services,

I visited the virgin megastore in Bristol today to buy a couple of
Bach cds. I was pleased to notice that unlike most of the discs in
virgin - especially the jazz ones - they were reasonably priced. I was
also pleased that I was not kept waiting in a queue for very long at
all. So far so good. However, imagine my surprise when as my discs
were being scanned, the otherwise fairly amenable sales assistant
suddenly asked me if I would "like to pre-order the star wars trilogy
on DVD". I find this kind of aggressive sales pitch extremely
irritating, and it can't be much fun for a member of staff charged
with asking random members of the public such asinine and irrelevant
questions. I shudder to think what kind of abusive responses they get
from less enlightened members of modern British society, of which
there are many.
Should I visit another virgin outlet and be confronted with this
outrageous policy again, the company will find itself significantly
poorer, as I will be left with no choice but to suspend my generous
patronage of its stores and services.

Good day to you,

Ben Watson


id like to be asked if i wanted to pre order something what about people who want to be asked?  Doh! you didnt seriously send in this?  Bad Teeth Laughing
Logged

http://www.myspace.com/djskelm
http://www.myspace.com/skelm
http://www.myspace.com/skelmshowreelpage
i Is oN mYSpace....

p.s iT iS rUbIsh

But this label is good

Dirty Needle Recordings
F*CK OFF MODS
F*CK OFF MODS
F*CK OFF MODS
Fraz
Dub Specialist
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3,181


You can't drink a pint of Bovril.


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #79 on: September 27, 2006, 18:21:29 »

Trains are a joke PERIOD.  Damn glad I own a car.  Last time I was thinking of getting a train somewhere (Leeds) I found it was quicker and much cheaper to hire a car for the weekend and drive.  Says it all really.
Logged

.
jimma
Dub Specialist
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3,429


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #80 on: September 28, 2006, 10:43:36 »


God forbid anyone should need flexibility inthere life!


 Tut Tut   Grin


letters of complaint are best though! think i may have to get on the case... now.. what do i hate?

Not to worry - I spotted and changed all the typos my dyslexic mind generated.
Logged
jimma
Dub Specialist
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3,429


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #81 on: October 12, 2006, 15:15:24 »

Dear National Express,

I recently wrote to First Great Western telling them how much work they have to do to win back my custom from National Express for the frequent trips I make between London and Bristol for my work. How Ironic then that the next two return NE trips I took, after posting the letter, gave me cause to reconsider.

I appreciate that at peak travel times National Express needs to contract outside coach companies to run extra services on certain routes. On the first of the trips I indicated above, an independent contractor’s coach was in the bay for the 040 service to Bristol from London Victoria. On approach, I was greeted by a National Express employee who, as he was checking my ticket, noted that I was carrying a paper bag of take-away sandwiches. He asked, in a most jovial manner, whether there was a hot beverage in the bag. I replied that there was not. This was followed by a slight pause followed by a request (polite and embarrassed) to see for himself. I obliged and was ushered onto the coach. As I was boarding, the utterly humourless (non-NE) driver said “and don’t go leaving it on there when you leave.” Now I appreciate that this manner of littering is undesirable and to be discouraged, but there are acceptable ways of communicating this. The driver-in-question’s manner was utterly accusing and delivered with a snarl not unworthy of a lazily-characterised cinema-villain. I was guilty until proven innocent. And so what if there was a hot-drink in my bag? I’ve run the risk of scolding myself on numerous car, coach, and train journeys, and so far have come out fine. The risk is mine, and one that I shoulder the responsibility for. Is a hot drink on a long journey not to permitted for fear of an ever litigious society? Surely some kind of disclaimer would return my right to endanger my palette and mouth!?

Sadly my tale does not end here. The drivers driving was frankly that of a road-hog boy-racer. If another road user failed to vacate the middle lane soon enough, or dared to drive to slowly he would accelerate towards them, flashing his lights, in order to make greater the sense of them holding him up. I have never experienced a coach trip with National Express that featured as much sudden, body jerking, braking. This is poor driving in a car-driver, but seems reckless in a coach-driver. Perhaps this is why I’m forbidden to take a hot drink aboard.

On my next trip I was again asked to board a coach that bore the marking of a firm other than National Express. In this case the driver was polite, and a safe road-user. However, the route he chose to drive out of London (on Sunday 8th Oct) was not the same as every other time I’ve made this trip – rather we travelled northeast further into central London, adding a half hour onto the journey by my estimation. Furthermore, as our journey neared it’s end, a mere 20 minutes from Bristol coach station, the driver pulled into a service station for a “10 minute” break that ended up being 15 minutes. On the countless national express journeys I have taken, this was the first time such a needless break was called. No fuel was taken on, it seemed only to be a leg-stretch. A total waste of time, that saw my frustration exacerbated by the proximity of our destination.

If National Express are going to contract services from other companies they should ensure that a code of conduct and quality of service is adhered to. I’d paid for the level of service I’d come to expect. This was not delivered. On my trip to London this week, I bit the bullet and travelled by train.

Yours faithfully,


James Martin
Logged
top cat
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Posts: 11,288

raar


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #82 on: October 12, 2006, 16:34:49 »

I had an absolutely terrible train trip last weekend: I'm cooking up a little beauty that will make virgin trains wish they'd never been born, not that they can be born because they're a virgin anyway.  Smashed
Logged



MAKE IT SO

Code:
[flash=800,80]   forward for this by benjblackmore [/flash]
top cat
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Posts: 11,288

raar


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #83 on: October 12, 2006, 17:16:02 »

FTAO all senior management at virgin trains.....
 
 
Racists,
 
Much to my discomfitude, I have of late lost all my mirth. The cause being, unsurprisingly, your toffee shop of a train service. Why won't you die.
 
I was forced to avail myself of your expensive, slow, cramped service last weekend: Consider if you will my itinerary as advertised on your website timetable, which by the way looks as if it was cooked up by a primary school child on magic mushrooms, or possibly a bespectacled french exchange student with only a tangent grasp on reality:
 
depart Stafford 10.50am
 
change at Birmingham New Street
 
Birmingham New Street 11.40
 
arrive at Bristol Temple Meads 1pm
 
Imagine my surprise when my journey unfolded as follows
 
 
"No trains from Stafford today"
 
therefore: drive to Wolverhampton
 
Wolverhampton to Birmingham 45 minute journey
 
No trains running southwest from Birmingham: Rail replacement Bus to Cheltenham
 
arrive at Cheltenham to be informed by one of the local simpletons that there are "no trains running from cheltenham today, you should have gone to gloucester"
 
rail replacement bus to Gloucester
 
train from Gloucester to Bristol Temple Meads
 
 
this means that I had to change trains/buses/wheelbarrows/whatever else the fuck on FOUR seperate occasions. My journey should have lasted two and a half hours, instead it took five, you croutons.
 
Why I should expect - nay, resign myself - to pay over £40 pounds for this poll tax on wheels, forced to sit among screaming children, moronic teenagers, the obese, the mentally infirm, drunks and scousers (have you got some kind of quota policy on having annoying scousers on every train in the UK?)  is entirely beyond reasoning. O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I!

I am very pleased to inform you that I am in the process of buying a car and taking my driving test next month. I will be pleased to wave goodbye once and for all to your overpriced joke of an operation: it is little wonder that the only people who use your trains are those who have zero alternative. No fool in their right or wrong mind would choose to travel by train in the UK otherwise. I will be claiming my money back via letter from you corporate slags. I will use it to fund my RAC membership.
 
 
Yours in combat
 
B
Logged



MAKE IT SO

Code:
[flash=800,80]   forward for this by benjblackmore [/flash]
Evs
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 28,911



View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #84 on: October 12, 2006, 17:30:46 »

This thread gets better and better.  Laugh
Logged
Roadkill the VIII
Dub Specialist
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 4,255


The Tudor


View Profile View Faces Gallery WWW

Ignore
« Reply #85 on: October 12, 2006, 17:45:44 »

FTAO all senior management at virgin trains.....
 
 
Racists,
 
Much to my discomfitude, I have of late lost all my mirth. The cause being, unsurprisingly, your toffee shop of a train service. Why won't you die.
 
I was forced to avail myself of your expensive, slow, cramped service last weekend: Consider if you will my itinerary as advertised on your website timetable, which by the way looks as if it was cooked up by a primary school child on magic mushrooms, or possibly a bespectacled french exchange student with only a tangent grasp on reality:
 
depart Stafford 10.50am
 
change at Birmingham New Street
 
Birmingham New Street 11.40
 
arrive at Bristol Temple Meads 1pm
 
Imagine my surprise when my journey unfolded as follows
 
 
"No trains from Stafford today"
 
therefore: drive to Wolverhampton
 
Wolverhampton to Birmingham 45 minute journey
 
No trains running southwest from Birmingham: Rail replacement Bus to Cheltenham
 
arrive at Cheltenham to be informed by one of the local simpletons that there are "no trains running from cheltenham today, you should have gone to gloucester"
 
rail replacement bus to Gloucester
 
train from Gloucester to Bristol Temple Meads
 
 
this means that I had to change trains/buses/wheelbarrows/whatever else the fuck on FOUR seperate occasions. My journey should have lasted two and a half hours, instead it took five, you croutons.
 
Why I should expect - nay, resign myself - to pay over £40 pounds for this poll tax on wheels, forced to sit among screaming children, moronic teenagers, the obese, the mentally infirm, drunks and scousers (have you got some kind of quota policy on having annoying scousers on every train in the UK?)  is entirely beyond reasoning. O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I!

I am very pleased to inform you that I am in the process of buying a car and taking my driving test next month. I will be pleased to wave goodbye once and for all to your overpriced joke of an operation: it is little wonder that the only people who use your trains are those who have zero alternative. No fool in their right or wrong mind would choose to travel by train in the UK otherwise. I will be claiming my money back via letter from you corporate slags. I will use it to fund my RAC membership.
 
 
Yours in combat
 
B
Best. Post. EVER!!
Logged

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."  - A. Whitney Brown
Vegetarianism - a small price to pay for eternal youth

My nice new website (that might get updated more...)
Tropical Hotdog
Dub Specialist
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3,371



View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #86 on: October 12, 2006, 17:55:41 »

Brilliant!  Script I know who to come see when i have a complaint letter to write  Two Thumbs
Logged

Hooty
Hijack Admin
Knife of the Realm
*****
Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 13,296


Nuts


View Profile View Faces Gallery WWW

Ignore
« Reply #87 on: October 12, 2006, 17:59:27 »

 Laughing Laughing Ah Ben, you leg end
Logged

top cat
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Posts: 11,288

raar


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #88 on: October 12, 2006, 18:58:57 »

I thought I'd up the tone a bit and include a quote. See if you can spot it.  Wink
Logged



MAKE IT SO

Code:
[flash=800,80]   forward for this by benjblackmore [/flash]
i am harry
Ultimate Warrior
******
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 6,955


ruining threads on purpose since 2005


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #89 on: October 12, 2006, 20:00:41 »

People are like this everywhere, even in the world of videogames.

Dear Blizzard,

I am not happy with the way blah blah blah night elves blah blah dur dur hurrrrrrrr
If you don't change this I will be cancelling my subscription dur dur blahhhh
Take THAT!
Logged

Roadkill the VIII
Dub Specialist
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 4,255


The Tudor


View Profile View Faces Gallery WWW

Ignore
« Reply #90 on: October 14, 2006, 10:05:49 »

I thought I'd up the tone a bit and include a quote. See if you can spot it.  Wink
Withnail/Hamlet
Logged

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."  - A. Whitney Brown
Vegetarianism - a small price to pay for eternal youth

My nice new website (that might get updated more...)
top cat
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Posts: 11,288

raar


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #91 on: October 14, 2006, 11:32:44 »

I thought I'd up the tone a bit and include a quote. See if you can spot it.  Wink
Withnail/Hamlet

that's one, yep, but there's another
Logged



MAKE IT SO

Code:
[flash=800,80]   forward for this by benjblackmore [/flash]
Roadkill the VIII
Dub Specialist
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 4,255


The Tudor


View Profile View Faces Gallery WWW

Ignore
« Reply #92 on: October 14, 2006, 12:13:37 »

I thought I'd up the tone a bit and include a quote. See if you can spot it.  Wink
Withnail/Hamlet

that's one, yep, but there's another
Well there's two bits of hamlet in there....
Logged

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."  - A. Whitney Brown
Vegetarianism - a small price to pay for eternal youth

My nice new website (that might get updated more...)
jimma
Dub Specialist
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3,429


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #93 on: October 14, 2006, 16:11:14 »

I soptted an Austen Powers Quote. Do I win something.
Logged
top cat
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Posts: 11,288

raar


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #94 on: October 17, 2006, 22:19:24 »

I thought I'd up the tone a bit and include a quote. See if you can spot it.  Wink
Withnail/Hamlet

that's one, yep, but there's another
Well there's two bits of hamlet in there....

yes, almost enough for a village, arf
Logged



MAKE IT SO

Code:
[flash=800,80]   forward for this by benjblackmore [/flash]
ThinKing
Hijack Admin
Knife of the Realm
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 8,943


What, me worry?


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #95 on: October 17, 2006, 23:02:21 »

Ben man that is your finest moment to date on the internet. I salute you.

Logged

ThinKing
Hijack Admin
Knife of the Realm
*****
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 8,943


What, me worry?


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #96 on: January 09, 2007, 12:49:58 »

bump
Logged

Spit
Knife of the Realm
******
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 10,466


Chevron Action Flash


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #97 on: March 19, 2008, 03:30:17 »

...and another bump. These are still funny as fuck.
Logged

i am harry
Ultimate Warrior
******
Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 6,955


ruining threads on purpose since 2005


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #98 on: March 19, 2008, 09:19:01 »

look how young and innocent you all were back then
Logged

Charlie says....
Veteran
****
Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 984


View Profile View Faces Gallery

Ignore
« Reply #99 on: March 19, 2008, 13:34:03 »

some good ones Cheesy
Logged

Isn't enough to believe the garden is beautiful, without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5  All |   Go Up
  Print  
 

Seeing ads here? To remove them, Log in or Register.

Jump to:  

Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines

HIJACK is part of purplelight Media
and is hosted by purplelight Hosting Services. | Privacy Policy

Tickets powered by The Ticket Fairy and Bristol Tickets