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letter of complaint

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« on: August 28, 2004, 17:58:04 »

Dear all at customer services,

I visited the virgin megastore in Bristol today to buy a couple of
Bach cds. I was pleased to notice that unlike most of the discs in
virgin - especially the jazz ones - they were reasonably priced. I was
also pleased that I was not kept waiting in a queue for very long at
all. So far so good. However, imagine my surprise when as my discs
were being scanned, the otherwise fairly amenable sales assistant
suddenly asked me if I would "like to pre-order the star wars trilogy
on DVD". I find this kind of aggressive sales pitch extremely
irritating, and it can't be much fun for a member of staff charged
with asking random members of the public such asinine and irrelevant
questions. I shudder to think what kind of abusive responses they get
from less enlightened members of modern British society, of which
there are many.
Should I visit another virgin outlet and be confronted with this
outrageous policy again, the company will find itself significantly
poorer, as I will be left with no choice but to suspend my generous
patronage of its stores and services.

Good day to you,

Ben Watson

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« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2004, 18:00:12 »

You're an arse. (Sign it 'Benjamin', it looks more pompous).
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« Reply #2 on: August 28, 2004, 18:20:52 »

I shudder to think what kind of abusive responses they get
from less enlightened members of modern British society, of which
there are many.

you snob bastard  Laugh

the company will find itself insignificantly poorer

that's better
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« Reply #3 on: August 28, 2004, 18:25:27 »

I shudder to think what kind of abusive responses they get
from less enlightened members of modern British society, of which
there are many.

you snob bastard  Laugh


I can't help being upper class. I don't dislike Britain's criminal underclass per se, I just think they should be kept at arm's length.
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« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2004, 18:27:20 »

you snob bastard  Laugh


You going soft Mark? Don't think I didn't see you tone down your language there...

By the way, are you going to this party on the hill tomorrow? Turns out I'm not working after all (at least I don't think I am), so I may grace it with my presence- someone needs to balance out the less enlightened members of our society.
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« Reply #5 on: August 28, 2004, 18:30:12 »

you snob bastard  Laugh


You going soft Mark? Don't think I didn't see you tone down your language there...

By the way, are you going to this party on the hill tomorrow? Turns out I'm not working after all (at least I don't think I am), so I may grace it with my presence- someone needs to balance out the less enlightened members of our society.

hey, i'm feeling too chilled to be that offensive atm. besides, such words should be saved for the occasion or overuse will limit their effectiveness.

indeed i reckon i'll be there tomorrow, nothing exact sorted yet. depends on whether the poker is all done by 6am  so i can get enough sleep.

will bell you in the morrow  Cool
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« Reply #6 on: August 28, 2004, 18:37:16 »

By the way, are you going to this party on the hill tomorrow? Turns out I'm not working after all (at least I don't think I am), so I may grace it with my presence- someone needs to balance out the less enlightened members of our society.

Ted-ward... don't worry bout smelly Mark - I'll be there, whether the poker drags on til 6 or 7 or 8... so get yo ass there for some early afternoon drinking... the Vaults have even got some Thatchers in speshul, like!! Woot!

Er- and @ Benj - that's almost as good as your Melanie Sykes letter - qwalitee  Laughing
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« Reply #7 on: August 28, 2004, 18:49:26 »

By the way, are you going to this party on the hill tomorrow? Turns out I'm not working after all (at least I don't think I am), so I may grace it with my presence- someone needs to balance out the less enlightened members of our society.

Ted-ward... don't worry bout smelly Mark - I'll be there, whether the poker drags on til 6 or 7 or 8... so get yo ass there for some early afternoon drinking... the Vaults have even got some Thatchers in speshul, like!! Woot!

Er- and @ Benj - that's almost as good as your Melanie Sykes letter - qwalitee  Laughing

Didn't know that you knew about that.  Embarrassed
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« Reply #8 on: August 28, 2004, 18:50:27 »

Ben - you've TOLD me about that on a number of occassions with great delight. (Plus every brack boy ever has told me at least once as well).
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« Reply #9 on: August 28, 2004, 18:51:02 »

Dear all at customer services,

I visited the virgin megastore in Bristol today to buy a couple of
Bach cds. I was pleased to notice that unlike most of the discs in
virgin - especially the jazz ones - they were reasonably priced. I was
also pleased that I was not kept waiting in a queue for very long at
all. So far so good. However, imagine my surprise when as my discs
were being scanned, the otherwise fairly amenable sales assistant
suddenly asked me if I would "like to pre-order the star wars trilogy
on DVD". I find this kind of aggressive sales pitch extremely
irritating, and it can't be much fun for a member of staff charged
with asking random members of the public such asinine and irrelevant
questions. I shudder to think what kind of abusive responses they get
from less enlightened members of modern British society, of which
there are many.
Should I visit another virgin outlet and be confronted with this
outrageous policy again, the company will find itself significantly
poorer, as I will be left with no choice but to suspend my generous
patronage of its stores and services.

Good day to you,

Ben Watson



Apparently if the sales assistant doesn't ask 'the relevant sales question' you can get a 10% discount and the sales person gets a right pasting from the boss. Nice! Doh!
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« Reply #10 on: August 28, 2004, 18:54:04 »

Dear all at customer services,

I visited the virgin megastore in Bristol today to buy a couple of
Bach cds. I was pleased to notice that unlike most of the discs in
virgin - especially the jazz ones - they were reasonably priced. I was
also pleased that I was not kept waiting in a queue for very long at
all. So far so good. However, imagine my surprise when as my discs
were being scanned, the otherwise fairly amenable sales assistant
suddenly asked me if I would "like to pre-order the star wars trilogy
on DVD". I find this kind of aggressive sales pitch extremely
irritating, and it can't be much fun for a member of staff charged
with asking random members of the public such asinine and irrelevant
questions. I shudder to think what kind of abusive responses they get
from less enlightened members of modern British society, of which
there are many.
Should I visit another virgin outlet and be confronted with this
outrageous policy again, the company will find itself significantly
poorer, as I will be left with no choice but to suspend my generous
patronage of its stores and services.

Good day to you,

Ben Watson



Apparently if the sales assistant doesn't ask 'the relevant sales question' you can get a 10% discount and the sales person gets a right pasting from the boss. Nice! Doh!

They must think we are all morons.
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« Reply #11 on: August 28, 2004, 19:18:30 »

They're shit scared cos we at HMV have been given an exclusive "gold" box set, that no other retailer can sell.  It's the same price and to be honest I've no idea what's different about it, but I think Virgin are crapping their frilly panties that they're not gonna sell much.

Listen to me, I fucking love it mate.
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« Reply #12 on: August 28, 2004, 19:27:41 »

They're shit scared cos we at HMV have been given an exclusive "gold" box set, that no other retailer can sell.  It's the same price and to be honest I've no idea what's different about it, but I think Virgin are crapping their frilly panties that they're not gonna sell much.

Listen to me, I fucking love it mate.

Gold box set??

Love  Love



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« Reply #13 on: August 28, 2004, 20:17:41 »

Love

 Slayer Slayer Slayer Slayer Slayer

badass
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« Reply #14 on: August 28, 2004, 20:33:33 »

urgh
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« Reply #15 on: August 29, 2004, 12:18:49 »

I don't dislike Britain's criminal underclass per se, I just think they should be kept at arm's length.
Laugh Laughing
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« Reply #16 on: August 29, 2004, 12:20:13 »

They must think we are all morons.

you are, you raving belmer
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« Reply #17 on: August 31, 2004, 12:13:11 »

Dear Mr Watson,

Thank you for your e-mail.

I was very concerned to hear about your dissatisfaction with your shopping
experience in our Bristol Megastore.
As a result, I have forwarded your comments to our Retail Operations
Department at Head Office, for their information.

It was very disappointing to read about the way you felt, and I can assure
you that it is not our intention to make our customers feel uncomfortable
or irritated when visiting our stores. It sounds as if the way in which the
offer was presented to you was not appropriate for which I would like to
offer you my sincere apologies. I have also forwarded your comments to the
Management Team at Bristol, as they are best placed to ensure that a
similar customer experience does not re-occur in their store.

Once again, please accept my apologies for the frustration that you must
have felt.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for your loyalty to
Virgin Megastores and continued valued custom.

Kind regards,
George
Customer Services
Virgin Megastores

This e-mail was sent by customerservices@virginmega.co.uk
Please use this address when replying to us, using the 'reply with history'
function.
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« Reply #18 on: August 31, 2004, 16:03:32 »

Benj- PLEASE do the decent thing and reply telling them how much you appreciate their prompt and courteous response. It's the least you owe them.
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« Reply #19 on: August 31, 2004, 18:40:09 »

yeah get into a lengthy discussion on manners....
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« Reply #20 on: September 01, 2004, 10:42:37 »

Dear Mr Watson,

Thank you for your e-mail.

I was very concerned to hear about your dissatisfaction with your shopping
experience in our Bristol Megastore.
As a result, I have forwarded your comments to our Retail Operations
Department at Head Office, for their information.

It was very disappointing to read about the way you felt, and I can assure
you that it is not our intention to make our customers feel uncomfortable
or irritated when visiting our stores. It sounds as if the way in which the
offer was presented to you was not appropriate for which I would like to
offer you my sincere apologies. I have also forwarded your comments to the
Management Team at Bristol, as they are best placed to ensure that a
similar customer experience does not re-occur in their store.

Once again, please accept my apologies for the frustration that you must
have felt.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for your loyalty to
Virgin Megastores and continued valued custom.

Kind regards,
George
Customer Services
Virgin Megastores

This e-mail was sent by customerservices@virginmega.co.uk
Please use this address when replying to us, using the 'reply with history'
function.


can you imagine spending your whole life having to write letters like this? the person doing this job must have zero self-esteem and a very low self confidence by now.
either that or they're seriousy thick-skinned and couldn't give a fuck whatsoever.

how bloody pointless 
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« Reply #21 on: September 01, 2004, 11:13:46 »

Dear Mr Watson,

Thank you for your e-mail.

I was very concerned to hear about your dissatisfaction with your shopping
experience in our Bristol Megastore.
As a result, I have forwarded your comments to our Retail Operations
Department at Head Office, for their information.

It was very disappointing to read about the way you felt, and I can assure
you that it is not our intention to make our customers feel uncomfortable
or irritated when visiting our stores. It sounds as if the way in which the
offer was presented to you was not appropriate for which I would like to
offer you my sincere apologies. I have also forwarded your comments to the
Management Team at Bristol, as they are best placed to ensure that a
similar customer experience does not re-occur in their store.

Once again, please accept my apologies for the frustration that you must
have felt.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for your loyalty to
Virgin Megastores and continued valued custom.

Kind regards,
George
Customer Services
Virgin Megastores

This e-mail was sent by customerservices@virginmega.co.uk
Please use this address when replying to us, using the 'reply with history'
function.


can you imagine spending your whole life having to write letters like this? the person doing this job must have zero self-esteem and a very low self confidence by now.
either that or they're seriousy thick-skinned and couldn't give a fuck whatsoever.

how bloody pointless 

They probably have a form letter saved into their computer. I'm just amazed the guy replied.
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« Reply #22 on: September 01, 2004, 15:33:51 »

Wovers...

Are you going to enlighten us about the Melanie Sykes letter? It sounds intriguing.....
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« Reply #23 on: September 01, 2004, 15:35:33 »

I think Ben should do that.
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« Reply #24 on: September 01, 2004, 16:19:23 »

Dear Mr Watson,

Thank you for your e-mail.

I was very concerned to hear about your dissatisfaction with your shopping
experience in our Bristol Megastore.
As a result, I have forwarded your comments to our Retail Operations
Department at Head Office, for their information.

It was very disappointing to read about the way you felt, and I can assure
you that it is not our intention to make our customers feel uncomfortable
or irritated when visiting our stores. It sounds as if the way in which the
offer was presented to you was not appropriate for which I would like to
offer you my sincere apologies. I have also forwarded your comments to the
Management Team at Bristol, as they are best placed to ensure that a
similar customer experience does not re-occur in their store.

Once again, please accept my apologies for the frustration that you must
have felt.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for your loyalty to
Virgin Megastores and continued valued custom.

Kind regards,
George
Customer Services
Virgin Megastores

This e-mail was sent by customerservices@virginmega.co.uk
Please use this address when replying to us, using the 'reply with history'
function.


can you imagine spending your whole life having to write letters like this? the person doing this job must have zero self-esteem and a very low self confidence by now.
either that or they're seriousy thick-skinned and couldn't give a fuck whatsoever.

how bloody pointless 



Thats what I do!!













and no these people dont gove a shit.. i mean really, would you??

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« Reply #25 on: September 01, 2004, 16:22:45 »

HA!  Laughing

Dig your way out of that one Benny Boy...
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« Reply #26 on: September 01, 2004, 22:48:19 »

Dear Mr Watson,

Thank you for your e-mail.

I was very concerned to hear about your dissatisfaction with your shopping
experience in our Bristol Megastore.
As a result, I have forwarded your comments to our Retail Operations
Department at Head Office, for their information.

It was very disappointing to read about the way you felt, and I can assure
you that it is not our intention to make our customers feel uncomfortable
or irritated when visiting our stores. It sounds as if the way in which the
offer was presented to you was not appropriate for which I would like to
offer you my sincere apologies. I have also forwarded your comments to the
Management Team at Bristol, as they are best placed to ensure that a
similar customer experience does not re-occur in their store.

Once again, please accept my apologies for the frustration that you must
have felt.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for your loyalty to
Virgin Megastores and continued valued custom.

Kind regards,
George
Customer Services
Virgin Megastores

This e-mail was sent by customerservices@virginmega.co.uk
Please use this address when replying to us, using the 'reply with history'
function.


can you imagine spending your whole life having to write letters like this? the person doing this job must have zero self-esteem and a very low self confidence by now.
either that or they're seriousy thick-skinned and couldn't give a fuck whatsoever.

how bloody pointless 

They probably have a form letter saved into their computer. I'm just amazed the guy replied.

yer it probly is, but it's also a lot like the crap they're trying to get us to do where I work. 'taking on a familiar tone' and 'empathising with the customer' etc etc....  Roll Eyes

its all crap and its good to see that people dont buy it  Cheesy

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« Reply #27 on: February 19, 2005, 18:58:29 »

Dear all at Bath Ales,

A small complaint perhaps, but it does seem to matter....
I am a regular patron of the Hare on the Hill in Kingsdown, mainly due to the excellent beer on sale there - the hare does the best real ale in Bristol in my opinion, and the new management team seem to be maintaining these high standards. I do not live particularly close to this pub, but choose to walk for 20 minutes or so to get there for reasons of nice beer, and I frequent the hare at least three evenings a week on average. However of late myself and my friends have noticed a rather disturbing development: I can understand a landlord wishing to clear his premises quickly after time has been called, but I feel that it is somewhat erroneous and over-zealous to fling the doors of the pub open at 11.15pm in the middle of February with the aim of flooding the pub with cold air in order to create an unpleasant atmosphere so that patrons leave more quickly. This has occurred several times on recent visits. The new team at the hare seem particularly enamoured of this admittedly highly effective method of clearing the pub of customers, but I feel it would be much more in keeping with the generally friendly spirit of this otherwise lovely pub to employ the more traditional method of politely asking drinkers to finish their drinks and leave, rather than subjecting them to the "arctic hairdryer" treatment should they not happen to have finished their pint by 11.15pm. My apologies for feeling the need to write an email of complaint, but I was wondering if you could take note of these concerns...

Many thanks,

Ben Watson
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« Reply #28 on: February 19, 2005, 19:02:44 »

ben, yuo really are too much

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its funny cos its true!
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« Reply #29 on: February 19, 2005, 19:27:29 »

 Laughing
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« Reply #30 on: February 19, 2005, 19:51:08 »

This is a well funny thread! Go Benj!
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« Reply #31 on: February 19, 2005, 22:27:32 »

I feel it would be much more in keeping with the generally friendly spirit of this otherwise lovely pub to employ the more traditional method of politely asking drinkers to finish their drinks and leave, rather than subjecting them to the "arctic hairdryer" treatment should they not happen to have finished their pint by 11.15pm.

Laughing

Oh Ben, you write complaint letters almost as eloquently as I do!
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« Reply #32 on: February 21, 2005, 11:04:21 »

Has there been a reply yet?
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« Reply #33 on: February 21, 2005, 12:45:10 »

shut up man.
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« Reply #34 on: February 24, 2005, 16:19:56 »

"I have discussed the "Artic Hairdryer" with Tim at the pub and he assures me this practice will cease immediately. He has also had fitted , a set of draught excluders to the front doors and repaired the radiator under the new plasma screen.Hopefully,the Artic conditions at the Hare will become more congenial , which will mean you will have to drink more of our beers to keep cool!!!!!!!

Incidentally,Tim's brother plays bass in a band , so you may be able to sell him some sound equipment.

Once again, thank you for taking the trouble to write to us.

Regards

Mike"
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« Reply #35 on: February 24, 2005, 16:23:24 »

Somebody's getting a dodgy pint next time he goes there.  Tongue
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« Reply #36 on: February 24, 2005, 19:39:28 »

"I have discussed the "Artic Hairdryer" with Tim at the pub and he assures me this practice will cease immediately. He has also had fitted , a set of draught excluders to the front doors and repaired the radiator under the new plasma screen.Hopefully,the Artic conditions at the Hare will become more congenial , which will mean you will have to drink more of our beers to keep cool!!!!!!!
Incidentally,Tim's brother plays bass in a band , so you may be able to sell him some sound equipment.
Once again, thank you for taking the trouble to write to us.
Regards
Mike"

Benj! You go girl Laugh Slayer
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« Reply #37 on: March 05, 2005, 13:00:49 »

*Me being a twat 7 years ago*
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« Reply #38 on: March 05, 2005, 13:24:14 »

  Script Script Script  Script Script

Preach on Brother Watson, preach on!

The List of Grievances i have with The Co-Operative Bank (to quote Jonny Lee Miller in Trainspotting, 'a total fucking misnomer') are as varied, long and strangely similar to your own.

My major bugbear with them at present is the fact that even though our joint account gets a hefty sum deposited into it every month, we're still not good enough to get a fricking bankcard which can be used for internet purchases! Angry Angry Angry

Any time i go into the branch there, i usually walk out after about 15 mins because it always seems to be the same customers complaining about the same things. I think it may be time to make the switch to Triodos.
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« Reply #39 on: March 05, 2005, 17:34:07 »

Ben, if you live to be an old man you will undoubtedly b a total fucker; the scourge of service provders everywhere. I very much enjoyed reading the expression "to wit;" sadly it seems to be slipping into disuse outside of the confines of the complaint letter. Perhaps in your next letter you could start with an archaic greeting such "good morrow."

You are right that it is ridiculous that no phone call is made to tell you that you are in danger of having your account closed down. Companies seem oblivious to the fact that a quick phone call might solve a problem with a customer far quicker than a laborious and slow exchange of letters. I find it laughable that, in the past, my telephone company have got to the stage where they have threatened to take me to court if they do not recieve payment but have not thought of picking up the instrument of my debt and calling me to see if there was some kind of a problem that could easily be fixed. Idiots.

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« Reply #40 on: March 06, 2005, 17:10:56 »

Ben, if you live to be an old man you will undoubtedly b a total fucker; the scourge of service provders everywhere. I very much enjoyed reading the expression "to wit;" sadly it seems to be slipping into disuse outside of the confines of the complaint letter. Perhaps in your next letter you could start with an archaic greeting such "good morrow."

You are right that it is ridiculous that no phone call is made to tell you that you are in danger of having your account closed down. Companies seem oblivious to the fact that a quick phone call might solve a problem with a customer far quicker than a laborious and slow exchange of letters. I find it laughable that, in the past, my telephone company have got to the stage where they have threatened to take me to court if they do not recieve payment but have not thought of picking up the instrument of my debt and calling me to see if there was some kind of a problem that could easily be fixed. Idiots.



haha
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« Reply #41 on: January 23, 2006, 21:20:07 »

Dear all at first buses,

Hi you racists,

Yet again I have taken it upon myself to waste some more of my valuable time writing to complain to you about the shambolic toffee shop you run that masquerades as a bus service. You people are scum.
This morning I left my home in Bristol's fair centre and made my way to the hippodrome to catch a 43/44/45 to st george where I work on mondays shaping the minds of future generations. Having waited in arctic temperatures for a dull twenty minutes, lo! a bus finally appeared; I lifted my heavy work bags and staggered towards the doors. Imagine my surprise when as soon as your diesel spewing death trap rust bucket had vomited its passengers onto the street, the driver closed the doors and proceeded to drive off. This myopic ignoramus had not even looked at the pavement, where, believe it or not, it is tradition for passengers to stand, usually for a protracted period while we wait for some indolent cretin to finish reading his newspaper - or perhaps it was the beano - and have a cigarette. Said driver was deaf to my admittedly unusual entreaties that he stop the bus and let me alight. Even frantic shouting and waving would not dissuade him from his quest to lurch towards a red traffic light twenty yards down the road, tipping coffee onto a fat lady's lap on the top deck in the process, to everybody's private gratification. A well aimed kick at the side of the vehicle, which to my satisfaction left a healthy dent, also proved unsuccessful in stopping this man, hell bent on his own and everyone else's destruction. This was clearly a man with the intellect of a grape. I arrived late for work, impairing the education of 30 children, many of whom will probably end up working as first bus drivers; I'm not naive: I know a conspiracy when I see one. You had best be aware that I am watching your activities very closely.

Yours in Combat

Benjamin Isiah Van Damme
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« Reply #42 on: January 23, 2006, 21:23:00 »

I arrived late for work, impairing the education of 30 children, many of whom will probably end up working as first bus drivers; I'm not naive: I know a conspiracy when I see one.

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laugh Laughing
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« Reply #43 on: January 23, 2006, 21:27:19 »

 Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Oh my word; I wish I could write like that
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« Reply #44 on: January 23, 2006, 21:28:35 »

This is a far more productive way to pass the time than anything else I do when I'm bored. I may have to start a habit.
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« Reply #45 on: January 23, 2006, 21:30:19 »

I arrived late for work, impairing the education of 30 children, many of whom will probably end up working as first bus drivers; I'm not naive: I know a conspiracy when I see one.

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laugh Laughing

 Script

 Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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« Reply #46 on: January 23, 2006, 21:35:06 »

Ben you slay me . .   .
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« Reply #47 on: January 23, 2006, 21:35:18 »

This is a far more productive way to pass the time than anything else I do when I'm bored. I may have to start a habit.

 Script

I wish that i could write like that, and be bothered to write to companies when complaining!
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« Reply #48 on: January 24, 2006, 11:45:32 »

This is a far more productive way to pass the time than anything else I do when I'm bored. I may have to start a habit.

 Script

I wish that i could write like that, and be bothered to write to companies when complaining!

Me to  - whenever i am on a train I have usually composed (in my head) a letter about the incompantancy of First Great Western - however I am usually so relieved to arrive at my final destination that I can't face annoying myself any more by thinking about first great western
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« Reply #49 on: January 24, 2006, 12:07:04 »

Wicked Star Wars on DVD

 OMG Death Star!!!11  OMG Death Star!!!11  OMG Death Star!!!11
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