I fancy my postman!

[diss miss]

And my second problem for the evening..

Ok this could be jokes.. i've thought about sending him a postcard addressed to my house.. with some kind of line on it that lets him know i like him..But i want something a bit more original than 'Dear Mr Postman, would you like to go out for a drink?'

Help me please.. do your worst people!!

[Hooty]

Well it's kind of obvious, isn't it? Send yourself a recorded delivery then answer the door in your best underwear!

[diss miss]

Well it's kind of obvious, isn't it? Send yourself a recorded delivery then answer the door in your best underwear!

Thanks Hooty, But that's taking things a bit quick!!    Was thinking about going out for a drink with him first!

[emjay]

Well it's kind of obvious, isn't it? Send yourself a recorded delivery then answer the door in your best underwear!

....only to find out he's on holiday and his replacement is a fat, ugly old pervert 

Is it fair to say that you spy on him through your curtains 

[Orca Recordings.]

haha are you serious? thats amazing..

how about if you just got your best garms on and as he was coming to the door intercept him on your way out and be like "oh im on my way to work..."

and then he'll be like "ah yeah, do you wanna go out for a drink?"

[diss miss]

Well it's kind of obvious, isn't it? Send yourself a recorded delivery then answer the door in your best underwear!

....only to find out he's on holiday and his replacement is a fat, ugly old pervert 

Is it fair to say that you spy on him through your curtains 

  That would be too scarey!!

nah i don't spy cos my window's in the basement..

[Uncle Basic]

Have you considered posting out anthrax in envelopes? That normally gets the Royal Mail's attention. Or at least it worked for me.  

[diss miss]

haha are you serious? thats amazing..

how about if you just got your best garms on and as he was coming to the door intercept him on your way out and be like "oh im on my way to work..."

and then he'll be like "ah yeah, do you wanna go out for a drink?"

wot??!! start a conversation wth him - are you serious!!  how would i do that???!!!    Yeah i guess i should get to know him a bit, but i don't think he keeps a regular time.. we normally just give each other a lingering look across the street..  

[Spit]

we normally just give each other a lingering look across the street..  

That's easy then, just flash him your tits at the same time.

[Uncle Basic]

we normally just give each other a lingering look across the street..  

That's easy then, just flash him your tits at the same time.

 

Lingering looks...that'll do it!

[emjay]

we normally just give each other a lingering look across the street..  

you don't want to keep that up for too long cos otherwise it will make it more difficult to talk i reckon. Just go for it, he'll be flattered no doubt and i mean what have you got to lose........you'll only have to see him everyday  

[sclist]

I do fancy my postman too .. tried the underwear thing, but it didnt work   


 

[diss miss]

lol.. well my flatmate has promised she will answer the door in the mornings forever more if i do it! - but i will still have to see him in the street.. but sunglasses and a swift head-down should solve that li'l problem..

hmmm..i'm thinking i might just go for a funny postcard (pick out a really good one in borders or something) and then just the basic 'would you like to go for a drink' thing.. Unless any better ideas come up?

[emjay]

next time you get a record delivery, bend over and tell him he can use your arse as a record holder whilst you sign for it.....that should break the ice nicely and pave the way for a drink at your local  

[Hypnotits]

ha! wicked! 

how wil he know its you - he will probably think its another suitor askin u out on a date!

you wanna address it to the postman... except then all the other postal workers might think its for them, sorting office, van drivers etc... could be hazardous!

i'd say, next time he comes to post the letters, trip him up on the way into your front garden then have a roll around .... bit of a wrestle, who knows where it could lead!   

[tele]

problem with postmen is that they finish work super early then head to wetherspoons to get wankered by mid afternoon, then to bed til 4 am the next day....   

timing for a drink could be difficult!

(i know what they're like- i used to work in a wetherspoon don't you know!) 

[diss miss]

problem with postmen is that they finish work super early then head to wetherspoons to get wankered by mid afternoon, then to bed til 4 am the next day....   

timing for a drink could be difficult!

(i know what they're like- i used to work in a wetherspoon don't you know!) 

hmmmm hadn't thought of that..we'd be totally out of sync..i'm up till 4am most weekends.. and i'm not good in the mornings as it is.. let alone 4am!!

Oh dear this relationship has died before it's even begun..   

[tele]

problem with postmen is that they finish work super early then head to wetherspoons to get wankered by mid afternoon, then to bed til 4 am the next day....   

timing for a drink could be difficult!

(i know what they're like- i used to work in a wetherspoon don't you know!) 

hmmmm hadn't thought of that..we'd be totally out of sync..i'm up till 4am most weekends.. and i'm not good in the mornings as it is.. let alone 4am!!

Oh dear this relationship has died before it's even begun..   

eeek! sorry!! i'm sure he's not the kind of postie to get blotto on orange reef at 9 am, but true about the sync!it's bad enought running a bar when my lady has a 9-5! love finds a way tho eh?    

[steve rice]

dunno about st.pauls but our postman doesn't get here till 11am! the only posties that look like they're delivering first class mail are the lunatics that drive those red vans......in my day if a girl liked you she got her best friend to say something to you....

or you could hide behind the door with a sledgehammer  texas chainsaw massacre style and cosh him and drag him in...a date and dinner afterwards!

[Evs]

Just shock him at the door and come out with it. You have nothing to lose...

[Dub boy]

postman eh louisa? i thought you were into rudeboys 

[trewhella]

Just shock him at the door and come out with it. You have nothing to lose...

i cant belive i will type this - but yes .. listen to evz !   

or is this the start of a bad 70's movie.. "Confessions of a Dutty Girl"...

[sMac]

You should definitely say something and soon, like someone has said, it'll only get harder. Plus you have to remember than everyone likes being told someone is into them, even if you don't feel the same. When people have told me i haven't exactly been like "how dare you say such a thing!!" go for it

[Vespertine]

Be bold and just ask him out for a drink... give him the "I don't normally do this, but" spiel.

[Waltero]

You should definitely say something and soon, like someone has said, it'll only get harder. Plus you have to remember than everyone likes being told someone is into them, even if you don't feel the same. When people have told me i haven't exactly been like "how dare you say such a thing!!" go for it

Be bold and just ask him out for a drink... give him the "I don't normally do this, but" spiel.

 

[SafeSoul]

Louisa! Soooo many jokes I can make outta this! But I shall save them until i see u in person!

I think u should do what Hooty said but maybe where a silky dressing gown on top of the sexy underwear, so you're not so naked!

This sounds like some steamy confessions that are printed in Cosmo!  ' I had sex with my postman whilst my husband was at work' 

[Vespertine]

I think u should do what Hooty said but maybe where a silky dressing gown on top of the sexy underwear, so you're not so naked!

I really think you shouldn't do that. It might sound funny but I don't think many guys like that sort of thing...unless they're sex crazed! They might see it as too much if you know what I mean.

[Vespertine]

You should definitely say something and soon, like someone has said, it'll only get harder. Plus you have to remember than everyone likes being told someone is into them, even if you don't feel the same. When people have told me i haven't exactly been like "how dare you say such a thing!!" go for it

Be bold and just ask him out for a drink... give him the "I don't normally do this, but" spiel.

 

Yeah, just don't think about it! get you're self revved up and just come out with it! It's like someone said earlier, he would probably be quite flattered by you're proposition , I know I would be! This sort of thing never happens!

[trewhella]

I think i have found a picture of the guy...













 






he's hawt...

[ThinKing]

stop pussying around and just ask if he wants to push his parcel through your letterbox.

[SafeSoul]

stop pussying around and just ask if he wants to push his parcel through your letterbox.

 

[tko]

Could you possibly soak your doormat in Rohypnol? Then when he delivers the mail he will be overcome by the fumes and fall unconcious, he could then be installed in your dungeon with the minimum of fuss 

[sclist]

any luck this morning then Louisa?!

[Uncle Basic]

any luck this morning then Louisa?!

The Postman Always Rings Twice.

With his bellend.

[sclist]

any luck this morning then Louisa?!

The Postman Always Rings Twice.

With his bellend.

in fact I wouldnt mind being her postman   

[ZatOichi]

How easy could this be 

send yourslef a 'please do not bend' package just a little bit larger than your letter box.

If he looking for an excuse to say hi, he'll knock 

This also helps if he's not regular, as sending an awkward piece of card costs pennies so can be repeated until you catch him 
(i don't have any experience catching post staff btw but the idea is sound)

[trewhella]

stop, wait, just a minute mr. postman....

[bloke]

how about you mail order an enormous dildo and get him to help you unwrap it when it arrives?

"i have real trouble with this thick parcel tape and plain brown paper, can you help me with this?"

generally i've found these slightly saucy approaches can be a bit awkward if you don't know how the other person feels about you.

for instance, i used to work in a hotel, one day i get a call at reception asking me to come and sort the tv in a room out, when i got there the girl answered the door & then lay on the bed...
i got up on a chair and starting fixing the tv, then she said "oh it's not working, you'll have to stay here" and smiled saucily at me

i didn't really fancy her so felt awkward, looked uncomfortable and carried on fixing the telly, then for some reason, having not got the message she repeated herself, at that point thank fuck i got the tv sorted, made my excuses and left.

now i'll most likely never see her again so not majorly embarrasing for her in the long term, someone you see every day though...

my friends mum was a postwoman, they have to sign the official secrets act so aren't supposed to tell anyone what they read, which is lucky because they all read the postcards
 

[Zoidy]

stop pussying around and just ask if he wants to push his parcel through your letterbox.

hahahahahahahaha! or in true west country style 'do you wanna bit of my pasty?'

seriously tho-couldn't you stick a flyer on the front of your door for one of your nights? he's probably delivered enuf records through your door to suss it out? But then there's too many ways he won't get it.....................Mmmmmmmmmm

[Cabalist]

Just tell him! As someone stated earlier, people love to hear that someone is into them and it's not gonna be the end of the world if he turns you down. Has he given you any indication that the feeling is mutual?

[diss miss]

na it's easier if i send the postcard.. i'm shy really

and he's the only postman that works my street - unless he's on holiday i guess  ... but i'm sure it shoud get to the right guy because he'll just know innit..

[Hypnotits]

na it's easier if i send the postcard.. i'm shy really

and he's the only postman that works my street - unless he's on holiday i guess  ... but i'm sure it shoud get to the right guy because he'll just know innit..

send it now!!! i'm too excited to wait any longer!! 

[trewhella]

na it's easier if i send the postcard.. i'm shy really

of course if you know diss miss's address already.. you could send her (or the postie) a postcard today... 

[SafeSoul]

na it's easier if i send the postcard.. i'm shy really

and he's the only postman that works my street - unless he's on holiday i guess  ... but i'm sure it shoud get to the right guy because he'll just know innit..

send it now!!! i'm too excited to wait any longer!! 

WOOO HOOO!!

[sclist]

na it's easier if i send the postcard.. i'm shy really

and he's the only postman that works my street - unless he's on holiday i guess  ... but i'm sure it shoud get to the right guy because he'll just know innit..

send it now!!! i'm too excited to wait any longer!! 

WOOO HOOO!!

do it!! or someone else will   

[riddim up!]

i used to work for parcelforce and now and again some ladies would come to the door letting it all hang out but that just kinda made me feel embarraced and hurry away.

sometimes i would get asked in to 'help fix a lightbulb' or something. that worked much better because it wasn't the full-on porno bit,,,,

i don't think the post card is a good idea, its a bit psyco-ish if you ask me


good luck anyway 

[JONETHICS]

Best Tactic;

8am Gash Flash

 

[SafeSoul]

Best Tactic;

8am Gash Flash

 

  

[ThinKing]

someone post Diss Miss' address so we can all send a postcard.

[Trout Alert]

God I've always thought it would be fantastic to be on the rounds of a fit postman/milkman. I got trod on once by a 66 yr old milkman when I was sleeping on the doorstep as a teenager having been locked out and he swore at me. That's about as close as I've come to a 'special relationship' with one of them.