Muteki
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« Reply #50 on: July 18, 2007, 15:19:35 » |
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i used to work for parcelforce and now and again some ladies would come to the door letting it all hang out but that just kinda made me feel embarraced and hurry away.
sometimes i would get asked in to 'help fix a lightbulb' or something. that worked much better because it wasn't the full-on porno bit  I thought this sort of caper only happened in Robin Askwith films... Fans of innuendo may like to try the following angles: 1) waking you up first thing with a package slightly too large for your slot 2) licking the sticky side of the Queen 3) disgorging the contents of his bursting sack 4) err, intercepting your giro (this one needs work) I've lost the plot, sorry
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SafeSoul
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« Reply #51 on: July 18, 2007, 15:35:32 » |
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someone post Diss Miss' address so we can all send a postcard.  Its: Mummy Dutty 1 Dutty Road Dutty Ville Dutty Land Dutty World
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Uncle Basic
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« Reply #52 on: July 18, 2007, 15:37:48 » |
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someone post Diss Miss' address so we can all send a postcard. Its: Mummy Dutty Louisa is a MILF??  
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SafeSoul
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« Reply #53 on: July 18, 2007, 15:54:07 » |
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someone post Diss Miss' address so we can all send a postcard. Its: Mummy Dutty Louisa is a MILF??
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JMoney
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« Reply #54 on: July 18, 2007, 16:20:42 » |
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na it's easier if i send the postcard.. i'm shy really  and he's the only postman that works my street - unless he's on holiday i guess ... but i'm sure it shoud get to the right guy because he'll just know innit.. If you've been giving each other looks across the street then I reckon he likes you too, prob doesn't want to say anything first as he's supposed to be working and could come across a bit scary if he tried to chat you up while he's handing the post over! Make the first move, it is scary thinking about what to say but it's v liberating too! Once you've said it if he doesn't want to go out then act as if you're not too bothererd anyway, so it's less horrible seeing him on the street in the future and if he does then go from there! If you don't you will always wonder what might have happened and will regret not finding out, even if it was a bit scary! When I was a lot younger I fancied my postie but I was at school so it was a bit wrong (i was 16 he was prob mid 20's!) we used to look at each other on the street and he'd always look back etc etc. I didn't ever say anything till one day when I saw him in a pub and said "hey aren't you my postie?" - as soon as I'd said this he grabbed my face and tried to get off with me! I told him to fuck off and then never saw him in the same light again! Posties can be odd and I'm thinking after seeing posts above he had prob been drinking all day! Then again if I'd never spoken to him I would have had a wrong impression of him as he seemed really nice and I would have always wondered what might have happened!
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jmoney's one of my fav girl posters
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Spit
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« Reply #55 on: July 18, 2007, 16:39:54 » |
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Once you've said it if he doesn't want to go out then act as if you're not too bothererd anyway, so it's less horrible seeing him on the street in the future and if he does then go from there! Innit, if he shuts you down then kick him in the nuts and slam his nose in the door, that should diffuse any tension. Seriously Louisa, enough's enough now, time to get your freak on! 
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diss miss
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« Reply #56 on: July 18, 2007, 17:20:51 » |
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someone post Diss Miss' address so we can all send a postcard. Its: Mummy Dutty 1 Dutty Road Dutty Ville Dutty Land Dutty World Lol!! Yes andy, i'm a mummy.. to lots of lovely little dutty girls.. even dazee who is older than me!!?? lol! Ok peeps.. so i've bought the card.. and i am posting it tmrw.. But so scarey.. i know nothing about him, what if he's a weirdo like Jmoney's guy or a chavster that spends hours down the pub.. oh well you don't know unless you try do you? reckon he'll prob have a gf anyways.. here's to lots of awkward moments on the doorstep receiving record parcels.. 
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22/01/10 KWM Hip Hop Festival 30/01/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies with special (Guest DUB BOY) 09/02/10 Dutty Girl Special @ WEAPON OF CHOICE - Mr Wolf's 13/02/10 Superstylin 20/02/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies (Guest SUPERISK) 27/02/10 Dutty Girl/Toy Toy @Mr Wolfs 27/02/10 supporting PAMA INTERNATIONAL @ Start The Bus 12/03/10 BLOC WEEKENDER 2010 27/03/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies with special guest..RIPTON (Souls Liberation) 24/04/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies (Guest BLAST DJS) CHECK OUT SOME DUTTY GIRL TRACKS HERE!! www.myspace.com/duttygirlmusic |
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Uncle Basic
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« Reply #57 on: July 18, 2007, 17:22:53 » |
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someone post Diss Miss' address so we can all send a postcard. Its: Mummy Dutty 1 Dutty Road Dutty Ville Dutty Land Dutty World Lol!! Yes andy, i'm a mummy.. to lots of lovely little dutty girls.. even dazee who is older than me!!?? lol! Ok peeps.. so i've bought the card.. and i am posting it tmrw.. But so scarey.. i know nothing about him, what if he's a weirdo like Jmoney's guy or a chavster that spends hours down the pub.. oh well you don't know unless you try do you? reckon he'll prob have a gf anyways.. here's to lots of awkward moments on the doorstep receiving record parcels.. so much you don't know about him...what if he's hung like a cashew nut? dilemmas....
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wildzer0
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« Reply #59 on: July 18, 2007, 18:35:11 » |
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send an XL postcard to you saying "how about a drink after work?" or smth and when he will knock your door to delivery it say it's for him. or write anything you feel right to start talking. ..."don't ring the bell unless you fancy a cup of tea" "what's your name?" "that girl is a hottie isn't she?" i prefer that with a red devil on the front, use your imagination  |
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rory
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« Reply #60 on: July 18, 2007, 18:36:59 » |
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wouldnt it be funny if his bird was the one who has stitched u up for that booking
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claaay davis
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emjay
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« Reply #61 on: July 18, 2007, 18:47:21 » |
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wouldnt it be funny if his bird was the one who has stitched u up for that booking
 love triangle beckons.....it's starting to sound like a Jeremy Kyle special
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rory
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« Reply #63 on: July 18, 2007, 23:01:07 » |
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wouldnt it be funny if his bird was the one who has stitched u up for that booking
love triangle beckons.....it's starting to sound like a Jeremy Kyle special throw a pregnant sister in and an alcoholic cousin and we're sorted any takers?
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claaay davis
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top cat
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« Reply #64 on: July 18, 2007, 23:22:33 » |
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WHY not simply engage him in a well informed discussion of how the Royal Mail is these days kept afloat by junk mail, and that if it was abolished he would lose his job. Sample conversation starter:
"Oh no, yet more junk mail, however, I have read in numerous magazines that the Royal Mail would go out of business were it not for junk mail, especially as it is edging towards a PFI future, n'est-ce pas, postie?"
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 MAKE IT SO
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Uncle Basic
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« Reply #65 on: July 19, 2007, 12:34:36 » |
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Did you jump him this morning Louisa?
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hypnotits
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« Reply #66 on: July 19, 2007, 12:40:16 » |
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yeah come on! have u done it yet or what!?! i cant wait till after the weekend i have to know what he says!! (i dont get to watch neighbours or eastenders so this is as good as it gets for me!) |
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foo-fon fire
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« Reply #68 on: July 19, 2007, 14:13:40 » |
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yeah come on! have u done it yet or what!?! i cant wait till after the weekend i have to know what he says!! (i dont get to watch neighbours or eastenders so this is as good as it gets for me!) Plus our postman comes too late - rubbish! 
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trewhella
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« Reply #69 on: July 19, 2007, 14:15:24 » |
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Plus our postman comes too late - rubbish! I hope diss miss will not suffer from this.. fnar fnar
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Trewhella is can be found playing records from time to time at the Bierkeller or Motorcity... But is also available to do other gigs as well... I rarely use the internet
I am of the opinion that no genre should contain the prefix 'funky'. The only genre allowed to be 'funky' in any way is funk. |
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foo-fon fire
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« Reply #70 on: July 19, 2007, 14:19:24 » |
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Plus our postman comes too late - rubbish! I hope diss miss will not suffer from this.. fnar fnar
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King Doom
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« Reply #71 on: July 19, 2007, 14:27:05 » |
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 I cant hide my face any longer..
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Goodbye cruel internetz someone else must kill threads now. 
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hypnotits
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« Reply #72 on: July 19, 2007, 14:27:30 » |
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yeah come on! have u done it yet or what!?! i cant wait till after the weekend i have to know what he says!! (i dont get to watch neighbours or eastenders so this is as good as it gets for me!) Plus our postman comes too late - rubbish! i wouldn't know!! .... *runs and tells pete*
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bubonic
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« Reply #73 on: July 19, 2007, 15:32:30 » |
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yeah come on! have u done it yet or what!?! i cant wait till after the weekend i have to know what he says!! (i dont get to watch neighbours or eastenders so this is as good as it gets for me!) Plus our postman comes too late - rubbish! i wouldn't know!! .... *runs and tells pete* S'alright, I fancy the girl who makes me milkshakes at a local deli 
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foo-fon fire
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« Reply #74 on: July 19, 2007, 15:41:01 » |
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yeah come on! have u done it yet or what!?! i cant wait till after the weekend i have to know what he says!! (i dont get to watch neighbours or eastenders so this is as good as it gets for me!) Plus our postman comes too late - rubbish! i wouldn't know!! .... *runs and tells pete* S'alright, I fancy the girl who makes me milkshakes at a local deli wrong thread
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Uncle Basic
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« Reply #75 on: July 19, 2007, 15:46:51 » |
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yeah come on! have u done it yet or what!?! i cant wait till after the weekend i have to know what he says!! (i dont get to watch neighbours or eastenders so this is as good as it gets for me!) Plus our postman comes too late - rubbish! i wouldn't know!! .... *runs and tells pete* S'alright, I fancy the girl who makes me milkshakes at a local deli S'alright I fancy Foof.  Foof is the lad that lives with you isnt he Pete? The one with the beard.
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bubonic
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« Reply #76 on: July 19, 2007, 15:50:11 » |
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yeah come on! have u done it yet or what!?! i cant wait till after the weekend i have to know what he says!! (i dont get to watch neighbours or eastenders so this is as good as it gets for me!) Plus our postman comes too late - rubbish! i wouldn't know!! .... *runs and tells pete* S'alright, I fancy the girl who makes me milkshakes at a local deli S'alright I fancy Foof. Foof is the lad that lives with you isnt he Pete? The one with the beard. Yup. Quite the cutie.
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Uncle Basic
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« Reply #77 on: July 19, 2007, 15:52:08 » |
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yeah come on! have u done it yet or what!?! i cant wait till after the weekend i have to know what he says!! (i dont get to watch neighbours or eastenders so this is as good as it gets for me!) Plus our postman comes too late - rubbish! i wouldn't know!! .... *runs and tells pete* S'alright, I fancy the girl who makes me milkshakes at a local deli S'alright I fancy Foof. Foof is the lad that lives with you isnt he Pete? The one with the beard. Yup. Quite the cutie. she most certainly is! quite a catch you've got there young man.
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JMoney
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« Reply #78 on: July 19, 2007, 16:26:17 » |
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someone post Diss Miss' address so we can all send a postcard. Its: Mummy Dutty 1 Dutty Road Dutty Ville Dutty Land Dutty World But so scarey.. i know nothing about him, what if he's a weirdo like Jmoney's guy or a chavster that spends hours down the pub.. oh well you don't know unless you try do you? here's to lots of awkward moments on the doorstep receiving record parcels.. Sorry i also forgot to point out in the previous post that before I met the lovely mr badger I was the biggest freak magnet around! If there was a nutter within 1/2 a mile of me they would find me and decide they wanted to be my friend or worse! Now I have a 6"4 bf nobody bothers me, surprise surprise!!  Plus the awkward moments are what make it exciting!! Make the most of it while you're getting the attention, much better than nobody noticing you or not having anyone to be interested in, your postie could be rough and old so it could be worse!
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jmoney's one of my fav girl posters
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diss miss
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« Reply #79 on: July 19, 2007, 17:24:53 » |
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i'm afraid i haven't posted it yet.. i'm now debating whether it's best to actually chat on the doorstep first instead.. Check if he's got a ring etc.. oh i dunno  I know you all want a denouement to this..but sorry  .. It was just a bit of fun and now i'm thinking i better be sure that i really like him, i mean.. i just fancy him a bit innit, s'no biggie.. Didn't see him this morn as i left early.. |
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22/01/10 KWM Hip Hop Festival 30/01/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies with special (Guest DUB BOY) 09/02/10 Dutty Girl Special @ WEAPON OF CHOICE - Mr Wolf's 13/02/10 Superstylin 20/02/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies (Guest SUPERISK) 27/02/10 Dutty Girl/Toy Toy @Mr Wolfs 27/02/10 supporting PAMA INTERNATIONAL @ Start The Bus 12/03/10 BLOC WEEKENDER 2010 27/03/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies with special guest..RIPTON (Souls Liberation) 24/04/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies (Guest BLAST DJS) CHECK OUT SOME DUTTY GIRL TRACKS HERE!! www.myspace.com/duttygirlmusic |
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Jimmer
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« Reply #80 on: July 19, 2007, 21:17:46 » |
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c'mon girl get on it... i want to be seeing something has happened by tomorrow or im askin him out n then you'll have lost out cuz how can he refuse this sexy mother bitch  |
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  my mum is actually quite fit
nice whan Joe...
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*Weasel*
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« Reply #81 on: July 19, 2007, 21:49:38 » |
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louisa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sort it aahhhhhhht!!!!
its simple, conveniently leave the house the same time he approaches your door so he can give you your mail face to face, when he passes you the mail you can then check the hand for a ring............if no ring......have a polite gabber....bit of eye contact....flick of the hair...all that shit.
then if you decide you still like him..... wait a couple of days, conveniently leave the house at the same time again and just ask him!!!!!
life's too short to send postcards or not ask......just do it bird!!!!
if it's meant to be and all that malarky.....then it'll be. have faith.
xx
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'i'm a bit special'  For mixes and blurb on me ch-ch-check out; MYSPACESOUNDCLOUDDRAMAsee me play: Super Stylin' @ Timbuk2 16/07/10 Drama @ Timbuk2 29/08/10 Drama have got after parties in Bristol locked down, proper job!
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foo-fon fire
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« Reply #82 on: July 20, 2007, 08:06:34 » |
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i'm afraid i haven't posted it yet.. i'm now debating whether it's best to actually chat on the doorstep first instead.. Check if he's got a ring etc.. oh i dunno I know you all want a denouement to this..but sorry .. It was just a bit of fun and now i'm thinking i better be sure that i really like him, i mean.. i just fancy him a bit innit, s'no biggie.. Didn't see him this morn as i left early.. Just invite him in from the rain next time innit
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Uncle Basic
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« Reply #84 on: July 20, 2007, 08:27:47 » |
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Foof is the lad...
...she most certainly is!
 the clue is in the name  Sexist.
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SafeSoul
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« Reply #85 on: July 20, 2007, 08:40:05 » |
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I was over Louisas last night and made her write the Postcard so hopefully she has posted it today! if not then shes gunna get some serious beats from me!
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Uncle Basic
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« Reply #86 on: July 20, 2007, 08:50:44 » |
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I was over Louisas last night and made her write the Postcard so hopefully she has posted it today! if not then shes gunna get some serious beats from me!
 And when they have their first date and she's in two minds if she should kiss him are you gonna be on hand to beat her into doing it?
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SafeSoul
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« Reply #87 on: July 20, 2007, 09:35:07 » |
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I was over Louisas last night and made her write the Postcard so hopefully she has posted it today! if not then shes gunna get some serious beats from me!
And when they have their first date and she's in two minds if she should kiss him are you gonna be on hand to beat her into doing it? yep! sometimes people just need a bit of encouragement!
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Mr Lingo
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« Reply #88 on: July 20, 2007, 09:50:49 » |
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I was over Louisas last night and made her write the Postcard so hopefully she has posted it today! if not then shes gunna get some serious beats from me!
And when they have their first date and she's in two minds if she should kiss him are you gonna be on hand to beat her into doing it? yep! sometimes people just need a bit of encouragement! spoken like a true pimp
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I live between Baltimore and DC. I was looking up a local band called Funk out the Trunk. You were better & I enjoyed listening to you FFTT VOL 2 HERE
FFTT VOL1 HERE
BOOTY BREAKS MIX 2 HERE
BOOTY BREAKS MIX HERE
UPCOMING SHOWS;
July 23rd - THE APPLES @ START THE BUS
July 31st - FFTT @ BIG CHILL; BRISTOL HI-FI
Aug 6th - FFTT @ START THE BUS
Sept 4th - FBBB @ SNOWORLD, LANDGRAAF
Sept 24th - FFTT 5th BIRTHDAY @ BIG CHILL - SMOOVE
www.myspace.com/funkfromthetrunk
www.mixcloud.com/mrlingo
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SafeSoul
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« Reply #89 on: July 20, 2007, 09:55:24 » |
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I was over Louisas last night and made her write the Postcard so hopefully she has posted it today! if not then shes gunna get some serious beats from me!
And when they have their first date and she's in two minds if she should kiss him are you gonna be on hand to beat her into doing it? yep! sometimes people just need a bit of encouragement! spoken like a true pimp fo shizzle!
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trewhella
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« Reply #90 on: July 25, 2007, 09:48:05 » |
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So.. any update on this then Miss Diss Miss ?
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Trewhella is can be found playing records from time to time at the Bierkeller or Motorcity... But is also available to do other gigs as well... I rarely use the internet
I am of the opinion that no genre should contain the prefix 'funky'. The only genre allowed to be 'funky' in any way is funk. |
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Stuart Wilkinson
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« Reply #92 on: July 25, 2007, 14:07:51 » |
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If you want express delivery send a parcel to yourself full of shit so he has to get it out of his sack asap
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    Dj Dates Sat 15th May, Digital, Dojo, Bristol Sat 22nd May, Unity, Lakota, Bristol Fri 4th June, Habit, Birmingham (with Terry Francis) Sat 19th June, Digital, Dojo, Bristol Sat 26th June, Exposure, Basement45, Bristol (with Ashley Casselle) Fri 2nd July, Code, Crash Mansion, Bristol Sat 10th July, Ghosts, Cardiff Sat 17th July, Digital, Dojo, Bristol (With Facundo Mohrr) Demo Mix Link to file: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=153461414507&ref=mfEmpathy 9th Birthday Promo Mix Link to file http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=305013553759&ref=ts
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eveson
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« Reply #93 on: July 25, 2007, 21:57:35 » |
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Well it's kind of obvious, isn't it? Send yourself a recorded delivery then answer the door in your best underwear!
Thanks Hooty, But that's taking things a bit quick!!  Was thinking about going out for a drink with him first! no, definitely answer your door in your best underwear, that's gotta be every postman/milkman's fantasy no doubt
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rory
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« Reply #94 on: July 25, 2007, 22:48:50 » |
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Well it's kind of obvious, isn't it? Send yourself a recorded delivery then answer the door in your best underwear!
Thanks Hooty, But that's taking things a bit quick!! Was thinking about going out for a drink with him first! no, definitely answer your door in your best underwear, that's gotta be every MALES fantasy no doubt
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claaay davis
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Jasmine
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« Reply #95 on: July 26, 2007, 11:14:53 » |
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What happened?!?! Are you getting married yet?
I recon you should wait till he goes to post you mail then play peek-a-boo through the letter box.
Nice to meet you the other day btw Louisa - that waterproof saved my life!
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diss miss
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« Reply #96 on: July 26, 2007, 11:41:30 » |
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sorry guys - nowt happening yet.. haven't seen him this week as i seem to be too late out the door everyday.. but i've got the day off today and i had a cheeky look outside when i heard the postman.. but it was a different guy!
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22/01/10 KWM Hip Hop Festival 30/01/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies with special (Guest DUB BOY) 09/02/10 Dutty Girl Special @ WEAPON OF CHOICE - Mr Wolf's 13/02/10 Superstylin 20/02/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies (Guest SUPERISK) 27/02/10 Dutty Girl/Toy Toy @Mr Wolfs 27/02/10 supporting PAMA INTERNATIONAL @ Start The Bus 12/03/10 BLOC WEEKENDER 2010 27/03/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies with special guest..RIPTON (Souls Liberation) 24/04/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies (Guest BLAST DJS) CHECK OUT SOME DUTTY GIRL TRACKS HERE!! www.myspace.com/duttygirlmusic |
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Jimmer
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« Reply #97 on: July 26, 2007, 11:49:29 » |
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sorry guys - nowt happening yet.. haven't seen him this week as i seem to be too late out the door everyday.. but i've got the day off today and i had a cheeky look outside when i heard the postman.. but it was a different guy!
he's blatantly some lurking 'jacker who was only lookin at you because he was like "OMG thats that diss miss, shes DUTTY" and now you started this thread n he read it and got all shy and scared and now he's transferd to the other side of bristol
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my mum is actually quite fit
nice whan Joe...
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diss miss
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« Reply #98 on: July 26, 2007, 11:52:34 » |
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sorry guys - nowt happening yet.. haven't seen him this week as i seem to be too late out the door everyday.. but i've got the day off today and i had a cheeky look outside when i heard the postman.. but it was a different guy!
he's blatantly some lurking 'jacker who was only lookin at you because he was like "OMG thats that diss miss, shes DUTTY" and now you started this thread n he read it and got all shy and scared and now he's transferd to the other side of bristol what you saying Jimmer.. you reckon i'm scary?
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22/01/10 KWM Hip Hop Festival 30/01/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies with special (Guest DUB BOY) 09/02/10 Dutty Girl Special @ WEAPON OF CHOICE - Mr Wolf's 13/02/10 Superstylin 20/02/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies (Guest SUPERISK) 27/02/10 Dutty Girl/Toy Toy @Mr Wolfs 27/02/10 supporting PAMA INTERNATIONAL @ Start The Bus 12/03/10 BLOC WEEKENDER 2010 27/03/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies with special guest..RIPTON (Souls Liberation) 24/04/10 Dutty Bass @ Cosies (Guest BLAST DJS) CHECK OUT SOME DUTTY GIRL TRACKS HERE!! www.myspace.com/duttygirlmusic |
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Jimmer
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« Reply #99 on: July 26, 2007, 12:02:42 » |
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yes! well no well i dunno, dont hurt me  |
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my mum is actually quite fit
nice whan Joe...
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