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All time top two bestest cheese jokes ever.

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Steve Redux
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« on: July 28, 2009, 09:21:54 »

Like cheese? Like jokes? You'll love these.


Which cheese would you use to entice a grizzly down from a mountain?

Camembert.


What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2009, 09:25:54 »

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

Cheesy
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cheeba (dop)
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« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2009, 09:26:36 »

awsome  Laugh
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« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2009, 10:37:50 »

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

Cheesy

Ah that one is a classic..


What type of cheese is made backwards?






EDAM.




 Roll Eyes
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« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2009, 10:43:39 »

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« Reply #5 on: July 28, 2009, 10:47:29 »

very gouda
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« Reply #6 on: July 28, 2009, 10:58:48 »

So good I camembert it any longer!
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« Reply #7 on: July 28, 2009, 11:10:31 »

What's a Paedo's favourite cheese?

Babybel
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« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2009, 11:16:13 »

What's a Paedo's favourite cheese?

Babybel

What's a paedo with a midget fetish's favourite cheese?

Mini-babybel  Doh!
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« Reply #9 on: July 28, 2009, 11:18:41 »

......fondue.  Grin

Is that something?
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« Reply #10 on: July 28, 2009, 12:01:19 »

My favourite office jape involves asking someone what their favourite type of cheese is and then putting a call through to them before they reply so they answer the phone with 'Cheddar' or something. Makes me laugh anyway.
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« Reply #11 on: July 28, 2009, 14:12:08 »

What does the cheese say when it looks in a mirror?

Hallumi!
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« Reply #12 on: July 28, 2009, 14:18:10 »

What does the cheese say when it looks in a mirror?

Hallumi!


very good   8/10
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Trewhella is can be found playing records from time to time and loads of mixes can be found @ www.soundcloud.com/trewhella  and www.mixcloud.com/trewhella

you're an 87 year old lunatic trapped in the online profile of a 20-something.

I luvs et


I rarely use the internet


I am of the opinion that no genre should contain the prefix 'funky'. The only genre allowed to be 'funky' in any way is funk.  OMG Death Star!!!11
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« Reply #13 on: July 28, 2009, 14:32:09 »

What's the most feminist kind of cheese in the world??










Germaine Gruyere.......
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« Reply #14 on: July 28, 2009, 14:41:58 »

Aaaaaaand another one...............

"One day Jill (a virgin) went to the zoo with Jack. They were walking around, and saw one elephant mounting another. "What are they doing?" asked Jill. "Oh, they're making pizza", Jack said. "Hmm...interesting. Can we make pizza, Jack?" Jack replied, "Not right now Jill".

They keep walking and see two lions having sex. "What are THEY doing Jack?" Jill asked. "Oh, they're making pizza, too", replied Jack. "Hmmm...interesting. Can we make pizza NOW, Jack?" said Jill. "No Jill," Jack answered". "Not right now".

They keep walking and see two monkeys having sex. "Are THEY making pizza, too, Jack?" "Yes, they are making pizza, Jill", answered Jack. Jill then said "Jack...can we PLEASE make pizza NOW? Jack thought about it for a second, and said, "Okay Jill, let's go make pizza".

So Jack and Jill go behind a bush and start getting it on. After a little while, Jill stops and says, "JACK! I think the pizza's ready!!" Jack looked at her and said "How do you know that, Jill?" To which Jill said....

"Because the cheese is running down my leg".
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« Reply #15 on: July 28, 2009, 18:04:22 »

Aaaaaaand another one...............

"One day Jill (a virgin) went to the zoo with Jack. They were walking around, and saw one elephant mounting another. "What are they doing?" asked Jill. "Oh, they're making pizza", Jack said. "Hmm...interesting. Can we make pizza, Jack?" Jack replied, "Not right now Jill".

They keep walking and see two lions having sex. "What are THEY doing Jack?" Jill asked. "Oh, they're making pizza, too", replied Jack. "Hmmm...interesting. Can we make pizza NOW, Jack?" said Jill. "No Jill," Jack answered". "Not right now".

They keep walking and see two monkeys having sex. "Are THEY making pizza, too, Jack?" "Yes, they are making pizza, Jill", answered Jack. Jill then said "Jack...can we PLEASE make pizza NOW? Jack thought about it for a second, and said, "Okay Jill, let's go make pizza".

So Jack and Jill go behind a bush and start getting it on. After a little while, Jill stops and says, "JACK! I think the pizza's ready!!" Jack looked at her and said "How do you know that, Jill?" To which Jill said....

"Because the cheese is running down my leg".


That's not terribly "mature".
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« Reply #16 on: July 30, 2009, 14:47:47 »

I WANT MORE!
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« Reply #17 on: July 30, 2009, 15:31:05 »

Aaaaaaand another one...............

"One day Jill (a virgin) went to the zoo with Jack. They were walking around, and saw one elephant mounting another. "What are they doing?" asked Jill. "Oh, they're making pizza", Jack said. "Hmm...interesting. Can we make pizza, Jack?" Jack replied, "Not right now Jill".

They keep walking and see two lions having sex. "What are THEY doing Jack?" Jill asked. "Oh, they're making pizza, too", replied Jack. "Hmmm...interesting. Can we make pizza NOW, Jack?" said Jill. "No Jill," Jack answered". "Not right now".

They keep walking and see two monkeys having sex. "Are THEY making pizza, too, Jack?" "Yes, they are making pizza, Jill", answered Jack. Jill then said "Jack...can we PLEASE make pizza NOW? Jack thought about it for a second, and said, "Okay Jill, let's go make pizza".

So Jack and Jill go behind a bush and start getting it on. After a little while, Jill stops and says, "JACK! I think the pizza's ready!!" Jack looked at her and said "How do you know that, Jill?" To which Jill said....

"Because the cheese is running down my leg".


That's not terribly "mature".

Or "funny"
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simba
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« Reply #18 on: July 30, 2009, 15:49:59 »

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

Cheesy

made me want nachos
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198football
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« Reply #19 on: August 06, 2009, 00:12:42 »

Whats Che Guevara's favourite cheese?












Che-dar
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« Reply #20 on: August 06, 2009, 01:02:15 »

Familiarity brie-ds contempt.
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« Reply #21 on: August 06, 2009, 11:17:05 »

What kind of cheese do they eat in the loony bin?



Emmental



What's Harold Bishop's favourite cheese?


Che-duuuhhh



What kind of cheese do you use to disguise a small horse?


Marscapone
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« Reply #22 on: August 06, 2009, 11:31:55 »

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog, are in a doggie bar having a drink when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can use the words liver and cheese, in the same sentence can have me."

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese."

The female Collie says, "That's not good enough."

The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese."

She says, "That's not creative."

Finally, the Taco Bell Chihuahua says, "Liver alone -- cheese mine."
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« Reply #23 on: June 25, 2010, 14:42:32 »

For the best cheese jokes, check out:

http://cheesejokes.blogspot.com/
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« Reply #24 on: June 25, 2010, 14:49:05 »

What sort of cheese would you use to hide a horse?

Mask-a-pony
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« Reply #25 on: June 25, 2010, 14:50:03 »

What sort of cheese would you use to hide a horse?

Mask-a-pony

sorry, I don't normally do this but it's only three posts up ^^,...;

...lemme hear a REEEPOST!
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« Reply #26 on: June 25, 2010, 14:51:23 »

What sort of cheese would you use to hide a horse?

Mask-a-pony

sorry, I don't normally do this but it's only three posts up ^^,...;

...lemme hear a REEEPOST!

Embarrassed What can I say, I'm drunk and can't read properly.
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« Reply #27 on: June 25, 2010, 14:52:30 »

What sort of cheese would you use to hide a horse?

Mask-a-pony

sorry, I don't normally do this but it's only three posts up ^^,...;

...lemme hear a REEEPOST!

Embarrassed What can I say, I'm drunk and can't read properly.

fair dos....except that why are you drunk at 3:30pm?!
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« Reply #28 on: June 25, 2010, 14:57:53 »

What sort of cheese would you use to hide a horse?

Mask-a-pony

sorry, I don't normally do this but it's only three posts up ^^,...;

...lemme hear a REEEPOST!

Embarrassed What can I say, I'm drunk and can't read properly.

fair dos....except that why are you drunk at 3:30pm?!

WHY ARE YOU NOT DRUNK?  I'M SO ANGRY!

Drunk is probably an exaggeration but I went to a "networking event" at lunchtime and had a few beers. I'm now regretting the decision to come back to work. Two more hours on Hijack to go.
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« Reply #29 on: June 25, 2010, 18:04:23 »

How should you eat Welsh cheese?










Caerphilly.
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« Reply #30 on: October 06, 2010, 10:31:19 »

How do you make a Rock-fort?





With A Cheese-el
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« Reply #31 on: October 06, 2010, 10:33:07 »

Where does a cheese like to go on holiday?




Cheese-ington World of Adventures
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« Reply #32 on: October 06, 2010, 10:35:10 »

What's a Pirates favourite cheese?



Chedd-AAAAAARGH
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« Reply #33 on: October 06, 2010, 10:38:47 »

Whats a lions favourite cheese?



ROOOAR-quefort
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« Reply #34 on: October 06, 2010, 10:51:37 »

What's the only cheese you can see from space?



The Great Wall of Cheese-na
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« Reply #35 on: October 06, 2010, 10:54:43 »

How should you eat Welsh cheese?

 Laugh









Caerphilly.
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« Reply #36 on: October 06, 2010, 10:59:07 »

What's the the worst nuclear cheese disaster in history?



Cheese-nobyl...
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« Reply #37 on: October 06, 2010, 13:13:43 »

Whats the smallest and most famous book about cheese in the world?



The mini baby bi-bell
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« Reply #38 on: October 06, 2010, 13:22:33 »

Whats the difference between a mushroom and some cheese...?


the amount of cheese in it....
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« Reply #39 on: October 06, 2010, 13:28:05 »

Whats the fastest cheese on earth?




A Cheese-tah
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Sick

You are a clueless bellend.
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« Reply #40 on: October 06, 2010, 13:29:02 »

 Roll Eyes
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« Reply #41 on: October 06, 2010, 13:32:15 »

Whats a cheese's favorite tv show?




The Cheese Wire
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« Reply #42 on: October 06, 2010, 13:34:53 »

Why did the cheese cross the road?



To get away from the mouse...
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I would go out more often if the sound quality was better in clubs.

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You are a clueless bellend.
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« Reply #43 on: October 06, 2010, 13:35:53 »

Please stop,  Wold
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« Reply #44 on: October 06, 2010, 13:36:45 »

 Embarrassed okay
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I'm currently working on my post-grad thesis and I'm writing about dubstep in Bristol.

I would go out more often if the sound quality was better in clubs.

Sick

You are a clueless bellend.
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« Reply #45 on: October 06, 2010, 13:47:29 »

Why did the cheese lose to the the stone?





Because the roqufort back!
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Steve Redux
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« Reply #46 on: October 06, 2010, 14:00:01 »

Stop sullying my thread with terrible cheese jokes.
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« Reply #47 on: October 06, 2010, 14:03:53 »

How should you eat Welsh cheese?

 Laugh









Caerphilly.


You haven't even got to the punch line yet  Roll Eyes RACIST!  Bad Teeth
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nourish the child within me....

...lets show love yeh?

I can mix better with my bellend. Roll Eyes

If eating quiche means I like it up the bum then slap my thigh and call me Dale Winton.

http://www.lovefilm.com/wb7e69r8a/visitor/sign_up_1.html
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« Reply #48 on: October 06, 2010, 14:10:55 »

Whats bambis favourite cheese?Huh





Fawndo
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