But Theresa May as Home Secretary? Fuck off.

 

oops

"Honourable members should leave the cheekiness to me"

'powerful yet charmless foghorn of a voice'

I always remember that line 

EURH

- shut up man

ah yes, should have said that, bit of a SAGA moment

  the year has been very good so far
  have been running around 30 miles per week, and doing some yoga since 1st Jan.
  completed Dry Jan successfully
  done some nice music playing
  Job is going well and lots of new opportunities opening up for people who actually know what they're doing 

EURH

Well obviously I don't want to sound ungrateful, just that I sometimes (say about 20-30% of the time) do find my family's behaviour challenging. To be fair I also have colleagues and even some friends who I sometimes find incredibly annoying. No doubt all these people sometimes feel the same way about me! 

 

Tell him that strangers on the internet are looking forward to his arrival

 

He'd probably report you all to the police for attempted online fraud.

Just reading through this for a giggle as my Dad is due to arrive any moment now. Received a text "I'm just leaving Cambridge services" about an hour ago, so D-Hour is imminent! I wonder what gems he will come out with this year. 

  the year has been very good overall again and next year also looks good
  have had a great year of yoga, cycling, swimming and running
  solstice is today, so it will be getting lighter
  not had as much time for music but still playing a fair bit
  am looking forward to pushing work things fwd in 2018

happy xmas! 

 

LGBTQ Yoga, well I never.

Looks like the Canadians got there first http://www.bendersyoga.com/ 

What does the Q stand for, I can't keep up with all this diversity..

A friend of mine used to have to provide temp work for one Blaine Gideon Robin, who subsequently seems to have gone into politics.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Od2ugWpCRdA

We hate the Tories as much as we ever had.

Yep, we're all still united on that front! 

Hello, I actually had to write a genuine letter of complaint this week, to Easyjet. Apologies if this one is not funny, but all those years of practice seem to have paid off as they have offered to refund me my £90.00, and I received a series of profuse apologies over the electric telephone from a worried sounding Scotsman.    


_____________________________________________________________

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to notify you of the inappropriate and unprofessional conduct of a member of your Stansted Airport team on 23/7/17 while waiting for the delayed flight **** to Nice. I have flown with Easyjet many times in the past and have never encountered this type of situation. As with any service I pay for, I would expect 'reasonable care and skill' from the seller, and this would obviously include the conduct of the client-facing staff.

According to her name tag the person in question is called '************'. No surname was given.

Aspects of her behaviour, listed in detail below, succeeded in making a number of your customers very upset and angry, and led to a number of verbal altercations.

Part of my profession involves working with emotionally and behaviourally challenged people; I am often obliged to remain calm and not allow individuals' actions to affect my judgement or demeanour, however inappropriate or offensive that behaviour may be.

However, after this interaction with your staff member both myself and my partner were absolutely furious due to the offensive, aggressive and patronising way in which we were treated, and the pathetic unprofessional conduct on display.

This is by far the worst customer service I have ever experienced. We will never use EasyJet or any of your other services again. We often travel to the south of France to visit family and friends, therefore you have lost two regular passengers, as we will now use other airlines and airports.

In my recollection of this fractious experience, ************'s actions included:

i) Shouting at the queue - regardless of whether staff are pressed for time, this is simply unacceptable. Why not use the tannoy system?

ii) From the outset ************ appeared to be looking for confrontation. The young girl queueing behind us commented that her behaviour was 'really aggressive'. At this point we had not spoken directly to her, but found this conduct unpleasant and unnecessary.

iii) There was a discussion between many passengers and members of your staff about hold luggage and hand luggage. A number of passengers, including ourselves, were unaware of your current policy, and were unimpressed, especially as putting luggage in the hold would cause further delays at the other end of a flight that was already an hour and a half late. We were lucky to be able - just - to catch the last bus to our hotel at Nice airport. Several passengers had bought items in duty free that they could not fit in their suitcases, meaning they had to pay a £45 per person charge, which was not clearly outlined in your terms and conditions, appearing instead in small print.

This is a practice that has already had a very negative impact on the reputation of low cost airlines.

We 'paid under protest' a fee of £90.00, and verbally notified your staff at Stansted that we were 'paying under protest'.

************ helpfully pointed out to passengers that we 'should have printed out the ticket' if we wanted more information on terms and conditions.

Incidentally, it was noteworthy that the Easyjet staff at Nice Airport on our return flight did not attempt to enforce this practice; indeed no mention at all was made of it. I can only assume French consumer law is stricter on these matters, and quite rightly so.

iv) ************ tried to show my partner the terms and conditions regarding hand luggage in Italian, which would not have been a problem except that this was done in a patronising and condescending manner.

v) ************ then accused us of trying to put our belongings in other people's luggage, which was not only a rather bizarre and incorrect accusation - why would I put my valuables in a complete stranger's suitcase? - but was again delivered in a rude and aggressive way.

vi) Throughout these discussions ************ was asked not to raise her voice on several occasions. ************ did not succeed in meeting this polite request.

vii) ************ should be made aware that in customer service roles it is polite to refer to clients by their names, or as 'Sir' or 'Madam', rather than saying things such as 'you and you, come here'.

viii) ************ made smug, sarcastic comments about my partner's financial status as she had changed a lot of her money into Euros, and was therefore not in a position at that moment to pay the supplementary luggage charge.

ix) ************ made several other snide comments during these discussions which included an assortment of backchat, and shouting 'HAVE A LOVELY HOLIDAY' at us as we left to board, as well as 'REMEMBER YOU ARE ON CAMERA' the implication being, I presume, that we would attempt some act of vandalism on our way to the plane. This may be something that other passengers have done in the past, especially if they had received similar treatment, but it is not something I would consider, and I find such an insinuation extremely offensive.

I strongly suggest you send ************ on an extensive and thorough customer service training course, or find a non client-facing role for her, as she currently appears incapable of interacting with passengers in a civil manner, and as mentioned above seemed to be actively looking for confrontation. I suspect that this is not the first time she has behaved in this way.

Furthermore, you may wish to consider social media's impact on your company's reputation, and the work of consumer rights organisations such as 'Which', consumer affairs pages in the UK press and the Radio 4 'You and Yours' programme, who already take a keen interest in Easyjet's practices.

I understand that the UK's Brexit vote may significantly impact on your business - in this climate you really ought to be avoiding bad publicity via incidents such as this one. This morning I read with interest - but not surprise - the news of a passenger at Nice airport being punched in the face by an Easyjet contractor.

Perhaps Easyjet needs to take a look at its recruitment policy, and ensure that all staff receive training on what professional conduct in the service industry should and should not look like.

Yours faithfully,

etc etc


_______________________________________________

  I am good with outstanding features
  played football badly
  played music badly
  bouhgt lots of new music
  4ish Fridays til xmas

  Hijack is deader than ever

  cycled 150 miles over the weekend
  played football badly
  played music badly
  bouhgt lots of new music
  2 weeks til half term
  have been on the wagon for 2 weeks  #old

shame really

I'm still gonna update my friday 5 though, it's the closest thing I have to a diary

This topic is interesting

Blatant spammer 

init, my life is barely interesting to me, let alone to anyone else 

should pass the baton for some awesome follow ups.

enjoyed it, but I think the sequels should be better. I like the idea of having a different director for each one.

  the year has been very good overall
  back on the sports after xmas
  solstice was yesterday, so it will be getting lighter
  got some good stuff lined up for 2016
  have worked v hard on improving everything over the last 5 years and am seeing a lot of the benefits

happy xmas! 

  back at work after easter break but it is all good as work is good
  cycling tomorrow, forecast to be sunny, getting fitter, try for 50 miles
  supposed to be spring now 
  had a nice gig the other day
  listening to Dave Brubeck's stuff a lot

At the mo I'm rather partial to a medium black Stabilo "bionic". Badass.

The pen is mightier than the sword. Except in close combat situations etc.

I imagine its a lot harder now to go full time into music now.

It's a lot harder to make money from making albums or doing gigs, yep. There is a fair bit of teaching work if you are well qualified or have a shortage skill and are prepared to travel.

This basically.

Compound intrest formula.

It's all Greek to me 

Dear so-called 'RAC', Buenas Dias you fucking cunts.

R-I-P to the motorist rescue, recovery, support and repair service you used to be, your days are O-ver.

I am referring, lest there be any misunderstanding, to your extremely poor timekeeping and the sheer visceral hatred for you that has arisen in my otherwise charmed life. Last Thursday, my car having through every fault of my own run out of fuel, I rang your laughably-named 'helpline' with the not unrealistic aim of securing a quick visit from a masterful mechanical centurion, drawn from the finest legion of engineers your 'Fourth Emergency Service' has to offer. 'It's a good job the RAC always arrives so very promptly' I soothingly thought, as I telephoned my second appointment of the day to reassure them that, though thoroughly blighted and benighted by vehicular vicissitudes, I would be only slightly delayed for our important meeting. 'Be strong, saith my heart; I am a soldier; I have seen worse sights than this' ran my inner-monologue.

Imagine my surprise then, when instead of the timely and efficient response promised in your crap adverts on ITV4+1, I waited for 2 hours and 45 minutes for this 'knight in shining armour' (in this case a greasy wideboy in a polyester jumpsuit) to appear. 'Each man delights in the work that suits him best'... Well, not this one;

'Jump out that old motor, get in my flying saucer', he didn't say. Instead there ensued a dreary soliloquy about the importance of getting one's car serviced regularly, paying particular attention to the fuel lines and gauge. He said the fix is a shot of Jack. I said 'man what are you smoking?' - Not exactly Shakespeare is it?

At excruciating length, fuel was introduced to the parched heart of my 'wheels' - at which point your sluggard sloth of an employee had the foolish temerity to ask for money. Then, get ready, get set, get on your runway jet, I was on my 'merry' way, only 3 hours late for work. Young and free, and London, 'G'.

Might I be afforded the considerable privilege of being the 4000th person (this week) to recommend that you offer a realistic estimate of your arrival time at a mechanical emergency such as this one? In the time that I waited for your oil-caked indolent crouton of a mechanic to arrive, I could have walked back and forth to the nearest petrol station at least 8 times. 'Sometime in the next 45 minutes' now strikes me as a wildly optimistic estimate; "sometime in the next 45 years' might have been more accurate. Men are so quick to blame the gods. Well I don't, I blame you, you bunch of muppets. By hook or by crook this peril too shall be something that I remember. Has the world changed, or have I changed?

There will be killing till the score is paid. Contempt was all you had for the gods who rule wide heaven, contempt for what men say of you hereafter. Your last hour has come. You die in blood.

I am joining the AA.

Yours in Combat,

Benjamin Isiah Van Damme Ultron Green Flag.

Brew some beer and get good at it

Lose a bit more weight, no diets though

These do not go hand-in-hand my friend

As long as I don't drink it.   

Good luck with that one 

Read (and finish) more books, write one of my own, and hone my culinary skills. Maybe find someone to cuddle.

if you read cookbooks, then write a cookbook, you can hit 3 in 1.

AND  'The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.' 

?

 

I'm not sure how stupid this is actually. Of course, it would have no impact here at all as no one would give a shit but Mexico is a very religious country as a very superstitious one. You can always repent your crimes in catholicism and still get to heaven but if you get excommunicated, there is no escape from hell. Being a criminal does not make you any less religious, as with the Italian Mafia.  If I was a Mexican drug dealer, I wouldn't give a shit but I'm not and the people that are are more than likely very religious and might just pay attention.

  a lot of mafia types are very religious and superstitious

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2537140/Police-crack-coded-mafia-initiation-message-reveals-members-drink-blood-swear-eternal-allegiance.html

Not really bothered what I do - most places near where I live are only full of old people anyway

  xmas negotiated safely and fairly successfully 
  got cash, which will pay abt 10% of my new wheels
  plans and hopes for 2015 inc move into new house 
  family seem relatively sane/happy (for now)
  ate/will eat a lot of nice food, and drank good booze

  then I will need to start exercising

nice to have a hobby

Currently watching communist propaganda The Muppets Xmas Carol

That's great everyone. But can we get back to talking about me please.

just drink at home dude, that's a lot cheaper.

Otherwise only visit bars where they treat you 'ethically'

  3 working days to xmas!
  done all the difficult stuff, now just a coast..
  can have lie in tomo
  snapped up ebay bargains
  all that is good enough for me 

I am the only person who has voted in the poll. 2 is clearly the best anwer. 

voted

Me 2: currently 2-1 - touché 

I have loads of socks 

  positive progress at work and pleased to see old pupils' progress too
  the food and the drink mm-hmmm
  2 working fridays til xmas and a 4 day week next week, followed by 3 day week the week after
  played football a lot
  Yo La Tengo

I read this as 'snoop on the docks'

  keeping things ticking over
  enjoyed eating and drinking
  3 working fridays til xmas!
  sheltered from shit weather and winter blues
  house ongoing

Worth having a look at how property prices have changed in the area over the last few years - I reckon they will have gone up a fair bit, as happened in the past in various places SOTR, and Easton.

   back to work and enjoying it
  earning a bit of extra cashes via wine
  not long til xmas! something like 6 Fridays
  played football half competently
  house stuff progressing

Hijack, Bristol Gardening Culture

Probably in tune with most of the board demographic these days tbh

but you are often met with dismay if you try and buy a £4 bus ticket with a tenner.

yet they have no oyster card type system?

Left to do PGCE in Brum, now living in East Anglia, for my sins

good article. the bit about First bus was spot on.

I left Bristol in 2010 - is the bus service still as bad as it used to be?

http://missconfig.com/2014/03/24/10-things-i-hate-about-bristol-and-why-you-should-stop-relying-on-journalists-to-tell-you-whats-best/

although most of these problems can be solved by buying a bike and not eating or drinking out 

nice booking matt. his rinse cd still gets a lot of play round mine

me too! wish I could be there